Ah, Monday. Again. But not just any Monday. No, today we face the Monday before the good Monday. The Monday that has the audacity to show up before a long weekend. A tease. A trickster. The broccoli before dessert.

Let’s not pretend it’s an ordinary Monday. It’s got a little extra weight, a bit more sass. Because you know what’s waiting on the other side? A glorious Monday off. A holiday. A pillow of time where alarms are snoozed before they even go off. It’s freedom, baby. But first, we must earn it.

Today’s Monday is that gatekeeper. The final boss battle before the mini-vacation. But here’s the thing. Time behaves strangely under anticipation. Will the minutes stretch out like a yoga pose you regret halfway through? Or will they sprint by as your brain daydreams of beach towels, BBQ, or just not checking email?

Philosophers probably didn’t prepare us for this paradox: a Monday that is both the slowest and fastest of the month. Schrödinger’s Monday, if you will.

So how do we survive it? With caffeine, humor, and low expectations. Smile knowingly at every meeting invite. Whisper “I see you” to your inbox. Text a friend your snack plan for the weekend. Because the prize is within reach.

Next Monday, we shall bask in its laziness. But today, let us power through the purgatory with grace, sass, and perhaps a secret nap. Just don’t let your boss catch you nodding off in a Teams meeting.

One Monday to rule them all… but not this one. This one we just survive.