In the latest installment of “Nature’s Gone Bananas,” I bring you: cocaine sharks. Yes, you read that right. Just when you thought the ocean was safe, our finned friends are now out there showing signs of cocaine ingestion. Move over, Jaws—this summer’s blockbuster might just be a wild mix of “Cocaine Bear” and “Sharknado.”

Picture this: You’re lounging on the beach, thinking the biggest threat to your day is a seagull stealing your fries. But no, somewhere out there in the deep blue, a shark is having the ultimate rave. Scientists have noted that these toothy party animals are munching on bales of cocaine dumped by smugglers. What’s next? Sharks with glow sticks and a penchant for EDM?

I laughed hysterically at “Cocaine Bear,” where a black bear on a drug-fueled rampage made for some top-tier entertainment. And who could forget the first “Sharknado”? A tornado of sharks raining down on civilization. Ridiculous? Absolutely. But oh-so-fun. Now, just combine these two absurdities, and you’ve got a recipe for a story that’s too wild not to be true.

Imagine the underwater drama—sharks zooming around like they’re auditioning for “Fast & Furious: Ocean Drift,” with fish scatterings like pedestrians in a high-speed chase. This isn’t just “Jaws” with a twist; it’s “Jaws” on a bender, crashing the oceanic party with reckless abandon.

It’s a wild world, folks, and why shouldn’t it be? With everything else topsy-turvy, why not add some cocaine sharks into the mix? It’s like Mother Nature decided to throw a curveball, and the ocean is the new party zone.

So, here’s to our crazy, unpredictable world. If you find yourself at the beach, just remember: the waves might be calm, but the sharks? They’re probably out there, living their best, most ridiculous lives.