Thanks in advance for not being a …

In most of my email correspondence, I’m rather polite and somewhat sunny. I wish people a good day, morning, Friday eve and so forth. It’s fluff. Not straight to the point. However, you get a little bit more buy in when you start off with warmer pleasantries than with something akin to “dear so and so here’s my issue.” I find it works.

Now, there was a debate the other day as to whether when you end a correspondence with “thanks in advance” you are being passive aggressive or narcissistic? I don’t see the point of the debate as it can be meant to be and received as both. It can also be so much more. It could be a sincere thank you for taking up someone’s time with nuissance bits.

In the last few weeks, I have actually ended an email with such a thank you. I rarely ever use that phrase because it does seem a bit passive aggressive. However, I found myself forced to use such an ending as I literally had tried all other ways of getting my much needed information. I kept hitting one road block after another. And, in doing so I actually got answers. Go figure.

In business, and in life overall, you do need to try any combination of words and behaviors to get a desired positive outcome. With that said, the few other times I have used such a phrase I have used it when annoyed and when I really wanted to say “thanks in advance for not being a …” – pick your negative adjective.

3 replies »

  1. I tend to use “Thank you for your consideration.” That feels like it strikes the right balance most of the time. It signals that I am aware that I’m taking up precious time and inbox space, but also subtly urges the recipient to spend another minute actually considering my email. At least I hope that’s what it does.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I thank ‘for your time and consideration,’ both of which I’ve received if they’ve read that far.

    But I tend to reserve it for when I’ve asked for something, such as a review. Book bloggers get a lot of requests to review books – I try to make mine interesting, to show I’ve read some of their reviews and blog posts, and that I’m a reasonable person who can take a ‘no’ answer.

    Best I can do when asking for a favor.

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  3. “Thanks in advance” for me is a very sincere expression, that means I really do appreciate what someone will do for me. I use it specially when I know there is a possibility that I won’t be able to say “thanks” when the favor is done, either because I won’t be there or because the other person would not get it from me on proper time.

    Is good to know other people’s perspectives about how they see this way of thanking and I respect it. Anyway, in my mind “Thanks in Advance” always will be a positive way to acknowledge people for their kindness.

    We must think positive in order to balance this world’s negativity, is in us tu change the world, and everything starts with our thoughts.


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