I guess I have been putting it out there


The funny thing about my face is that it is both very expressive and also very much a poker one. Yes, one can have both of these facial atributes.   I can even use my expressiveness to mask and thus mislead. But that is a whole other story.  But I have a face that can readily express horror, disgust, anger, happiness, disappointment, and amusement. To name just a few.


Lately, a few people have asked me what I was thinking about as my face, apparently, showed that I was deep in thought. Actually, it has been more than a few people. And, yes, I suppose that I have been deep in thought and have been putting that out there. The last few months, I have been processing a lot of information within a context of ambiguity. I am normally ok with ambiguity and nuance. I work well in zones of grey. But I have been having to give things mroe thought as of late. And, I suppose my face has been showing it. Reminds me of that scene in Sex and the City where Samantha advises Carrie to not get relationship frown lines. My face doesn’t have any wrinkles (yet) and thus I must listen to Samantha’s warning about frown lines. No situation is worth that.


On top of my expressive facial expressions, I also tend to bite my nails. And lately, they are being bitten raw. That’s not good at all as I actually bit one so hard that it bled. I am putting that out there as well, I suppose. Although, I have always bitten my nails. So much so, that my mom put tobasco sauce on my nails to try to dissuade me from biting them. I only ended up really liking spicy foods. Talk about a #fail.  Anyway, my nail biting is not meant to be a sign to anyone about anything other than I am very fidgety and have been for decades.


What I have found funny in terms of what I am putting out there is that in the past two weeks more than seven people have stated that I must miss New York a lot. Some have even gone as far as to ask me whether I am moving back. To which I answer, “Of course, I miss New York.”  I have never hidden my grand love of that fabulous city. The place in which I grew up during my childhood and the place where I grew up professionally. Maybe, just maybe, I am talking about New York more and more. But fall is coming soon and New York is just gorgeous during that season. So, yes, I am putting it out there that I would love a trip out there to catch the turning leaves, take in some sidewalk scenery and eat up a street food storm.

In all, it is a curious thing what we put out there consciously and not-so-consciously about ourselves. What is even more curious is what people pick up on.

9 replies »

  1. Both literally and metaphorically
    At least what some folks in
    The Fields of psychology
    Admit Is pills and thoughts
    In general become the means
    Of life rather than what
    We are literally
    Evolved most to
    Do.. yes Non-Verbal
    Language in all the ways
    A free moving connecting
    Co-creating way of as then
    Verbal Language Naturally springs
    From a Free non-verbal Dance
    Of Life with more of an
    Emotional Flow oF
    Words as
    It Melts
    But that’s
    What the so-called
    Savage American
    Indians did
    Without biting
    There Finger Nails
    In all of what comes
    In a civilized torture
    Of life.. I literally have
    A prescription for dance
    From my psychiatrist
    To mitigate the usual
    Problems regulating
    Emotions and integrating
    Senses and although
    Psychiatrists don’t
    Write out Prescriptions
    As Jokes I told him
    My cure first
    And he agreed
    Agreed the
    Savages knew
    Better than
    The silence of
    The ‘White Man’s”
    Hands and Feet.. so
    Yeah my Cherokee
    And Sioux roots
    Live again
    Nah as
    Science shows
    Now I’m not the
    Crazy one just
    A messenger
    Of Dance
    And a Scientist too..
    With a ‘few’ words that
    And who
    SonG too..:)


  2. I’ve convinced myself that I don’t miss New York, mainly because I thought I was ready to leave and had already been planning a move. Life never works the way we plan though and while I did move it wasn’t where, when or how I wanted it. Almost two years later and while I’m doing pretty well here in PA, I still feel off. Lately I haven’t been feeling well and I assume it’s tension and stress, but maybe it really is I’m homesick.


  3. Ha! I was *just* thinking that I definitely do not have a poker face. And on top of it, I have a resting shifty-face. Meaning that I always look like I’m up to no good. But I am not! It’s just my face! I am usually up to good!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Interesting one as I often get told I look sad or serious or lost in thought, even when inside I feel okay and I think ‘that’s just my face, it always looks like this, ergo it apparently always looks kind of miserable’!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. New York sounds amazing. There’s an episode in New Girl where Jessica Day visits New York and is standing in line to make an order in a crowded cafe (I think it was a cafe) and she soon learns that she has to scream and be loud to get what she wants. Ever since I’m aching to go there even more just to see if it toughens me up even more.

    I know what you mean about having both a poker face and a very expressive face (except my crows feet is more pronounced but I love it, it shows I’ve lived a fun and happy life, for the most part). But yes, of course, having an expressive face can be an advantage in poker as long as you have good control over it!


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