This past week has been hard in that I just have not been able to readily fall asleep. It is not that I am worried or necessarily stressed out. Rather, it has been that I have been caught up in a series of Netflix binges. Yes, each night I have been catching new television shows and getting caught up in them to the point that I cannot stop watching. It is as if starting at 10pm time fast forwards and I get caught up in a rom-com plot loop.  Don’t even ask. Ok. Here is the deal. I read a Buzzfeed article on top romantic comedy movies and shows and I became fixated on catching as many as possible from that list. If you were to ask me why that happened I would not be able to answer you. I am not a big fan of those types of movies as the plots are very predictable. Couple meets, there are barriers to their coupling such as bears, tigers and jobs. Then an hour later or so, one of them starts to realize how they actually like the other person. Yikes.

Regardless of my misgivings about the genre, I sat for a week watching movies and television shows galore. My eyes feel permanently rolled back and crossed at this point. But here is the thing, I am going to take a leap here and take one with me.  These movies sometimes work because each character, at some point, realizes their worth, what they bring and how the other compliments that. While realizing their worth they come to also understand they want to share that goodness. Am I stretching here?  My sleep-deprived self is fine with this understanding.  Now here is another leap, while catching all these scenes, I have also heard a ton of good music. Believe or not, many have good soundtracks.

As I think about self-worth at 2am, I started also listening to music and started playing Sia’s The Greatest.

I found myself singing repeatedly certain lyrics

Don’t give up, I won’t give up
Don’t give up, no no no
Don’t give up, I won’t give up
Don’t give up, no no no
I’m free to be the greatest, I’m alive
I’m free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest

Then I also heard, for the first time in a really long time, Christina Aguilera’s Fighter song. Where again, I got certain lyrics stuck in my head.

‘Cause if it wasn’t for all that you tried to do, I wouldn’t know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I want to say thank you ’cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

The lyrics are kind of fun to get into and lip sync to while running errands and doing chores around the house.  Music can certainly help in that elevation of self-esteem. Probably more-so than the romantic comedy and all its tiring tropes. However, maybe it is the sleep deprivation but the rom-com can have some deeper messages. At least, they do at 2am.