I gave my leftover pizza to a woman on the street who was hungry. Should I have paused, taken a selfie and then posted said selfie? Should I have taken a picture with her? It would seem to me that a picture in such a moment is tacky and takes away the very dignity and comfort you are hoping the pizza will provide the person. Yet, I have seen Instagram and Facebook posts of such moments.
At times, one may be able to argue that posting ones act of kindness may serve as inspiration to others. Yet such an argument or sentiment of inspiring others seems to be more about narcissism. Am I wrong in thinking that? Am I wrong in passing judgement?
Seems like we grapple with these questions of “to post or not to post” every few seconds. Someone mentioned to me recently that her elderly relative wanted every moment of their overseas trip documented by a photograph that would then be posted onto Facebook. I shrugged slightly. If you are 83 years old why not post every thing, including dentures cleaning and bowel movements. Sure. Why not put your story and narrative out there? But would you also want to be posted about as the recipient of an act of kindness?
Everything is up for grabs, it seems, when we are experiencing life. It’s your story. Why not get it out there, I suppose. But we need to keep the dignity of others intact as well, right?
That’s my short thought of the day.
Carry on. Be well.
Mimi
Categories: Culture, family, Health, mental health, Psychology
psychologistmimi 
It depends. Why a Selfie? Why not humanize her more than you? Or if fearing dehumanizing her, why not just the pizza or just words. Pictures are snap judgements. I blogged about an exchange of sorts. A man who gave me a vision of his face. He looked like my brother in law who died a year before. So I cried and he didn’t judge me. I gave him money. I thought that was worth writing about. You care enough to wonder about your actions. That is worth writing about. 🤔
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Selfless should mean selfie-less. I agree that the FB Instagram posts are narcissistic in nature. I think you’ll find more inner happiness from simply doing the act of kindness and telling absolutely no one. Keep it like a comfort stone in your pocket, that you rub when feeling down about yourself.
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I like comparing it to a comfort stone. Its a beautiful idea
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Thank you. 🙂
It was the first thing I thought of. As if rubbing it reminds us of our humanity.
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I’m glad you wrote about this. I’ve often thought that if you have to tell the world you are something, it usually means you’re not. In the context of this post, if a person has to go around posting images of them being “humanitarian,” it usually means they aren’t, at least, not all the time.They’re doing it because they want or need all the feedback from others that they’re as wonderful as they think they are. If a person needs so much validation that they have to post a photo of themselves doing something for someone else, I immediately question their intentions. Perhaps that’s cynical, and if it is, so be it. We all have numerous opportunities to be kinds every single day – holding the door for someone behind you, giving up your seat on the bus or the train, a simple smile and a “good morning”, picking up something someone has dropped without realizing and handing it back to them, giving someone your leftover pizza because that person was hungry. These all translate to small acts of kindness and perhaps heroism, and while there’s nothing wrong with writing about it in the context you have, I also respect you much more because you DIDN’T feel the need to post to the world about what a fabulous, kind person you are by doing such a thing. Obviously you are. The fact that you’re writing about it in context of the larger picture of narcissism and social media validation tells me that you’re aware of the connotations and are asking a valid question. Kudos to you for giving that person your pizza AND for asking the more difficult questions. I particularly enjoyed this post of yours – definitely made me think.
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Its so true that we have so many opportunities on a daily basis to be kind. Sometimes we don’t even notice that we have done so. Or perhaps it is that we are now hyper aware of these opportunities?
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No, don’t post a selfie to your Facebook or Twitter. Hire a professional photographer to capture such moments then have your publicist funnel the pics to the press. You know, like Taylor Swift does.
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Lol. So true:-) cheers
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Ditto the comment above from foodinbooks. Discretion is the key and I would say that whether one is X, Y or Z is a decision that should not be manipulated by one and should be left (but not expected!) for others to make that call. But here is where it gets sticky for me: FB is a platform where everyone is trying to be more than perhaps who they really are; wanting people to see them as very social, very family orientated, very caring, very connected, very ‘we are having such a fine time’, very generous…this list goes on. We are all coerced into creating a picture that we know isn’t quite accurate. Could the pizza scenario just a microcosm of just this? If it is used as a display/ act of kindness with the hope that people can take inspiration from, if I may, I say stop right there. Perhaps the way you felt after giving away your pizza, and how that informs the rest of your day and your life, and the way the recipient felt and the way it informs the rest of his/her day and life are Manna? Enough? Perhaps satisfaction should be felt from that? If, by chance, someone happens to pick up on this gifting; takes a photo, writes an article, does a talk, then that is where the ‘inspiration baton’ is picked up again. If the recipient goes on to share/give away something of theirs (and there is every good chance in some small way), that seed of a good deed you planted has taken root. I’m afraid I feel that yourself and the recipient loose a little dignity (for different reasons) in tweeting etc about it. This is a great post. It stirred me to respond. Thank you 🙂
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thank you for sharing your thoughts.I like your concept of “inspiration baton” I think many of us hope for that. Hope you are doing well this weekend. Its been an emotional week and weekend for many.
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Pleasure to share. I am enjoying your posts. Yes, it must be a very emotional and poignant time for many this week. Wishing you all the best.
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Retired now and at age 61, I feel no need whatsoever to publicize anything I do, good, bad or indifferent, to anyone other than those I know and love. I don’t care if the rest of the world knows anything about me and I certainly don’t care about the opinion of other than those select few!🎈🏆
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I’m sure that’s a great feeling 🙂
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yes, people are doing this kind of things after doing some act of kindness or they are doing theses acts just to post on social media.
these people are faker not helper or lifters
Nice topic to cover
peace and love ❤
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Thanks! Have a great day
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