I am older than my sister by more than nine years. I grew up partly as an only child. With nine years into such a status, it was a bit hard to switch to being an older sister. I went from being the one and only to being labeled first born. Such a label isn’t bad as it connotes leadership and strength, as well as secondary mom.
Because I was gifted and first born, I always assumed I was the favorite child. Why wouldn’t I be? My mom always addressed my birthday cards and the like as “daughter number one” which completely annoyed my sister. I tried explaining to my sister that my mom was quite literal and she was just noting birth order. Of course, it didn’t help that because I was older there were a lot more things in life I could do as well as get credit for.
At the end of the day, I may have been my mom’s favorite. But she never said so. She actually noted that she loved us both equally. Who am I to dispute my mom’s assertion? Thing is, I only have one child. I adore him completely. He would like a sibling so that he could have a playmate. Apparently, my working cramps his playtime ideas. I won’t be having another child. Thus, I won’t know how it is to love both kids equally. Or at least pretend to.
Here is the thing. I have supervised hundreds as a boss. I will tell you flat out, I have had favorites in in terms of staff. We are supposed to treat all employees equally and I endeavor to do so. However, I do have favorites. I do not play favorites. That is a whole other game. I certainly have staff that I prefer to say hello to in the morning, although I greet everyone with exuberance. I certainly have staff that I prefer to eat lunch with, although I will break bread with all. I certainly have staff that I look forward to chatting with, although I endeavor to make small talk with everyone.
I have favorites based on work ethic, sense of humor, fashion sense and pop culture knowledge. I have favorites based on who I can gossip with. Basically, I have favorites based on who I connect with and that is totally normal. Its ok to have favorites especially based on a good work ethic. I see nothing wrong with liking more those who work hard. As such, I again wonder about mothers having favorites. Isn’t that normal? As a society, do we expect equal love? We can certainly expect it, but is it realistic. Its a tough, sad question to pose. I’m glad I only have one and he is, of course, perfect.