mental health

The age of my discontent or mid-life opportunities?

The age of my discontent or Mid-life opportunities?

2015-09-05 12.16.41

There are some individuals out there that were born in the midst of a mid-life crisis. You know those people. I suppose one can say they were born with a Woody Allen soul. I am not one of those people and despite my hard-core New York centeredness I have never been a Woody Allen fan. Anyway, I wasn’t born with a neurotic soul.  Ambitious, stubborn and set on getting my own way, yes. I am of the mind set that one never stops believing.

Here I am today on the verge of yet another business trip, for which I feel both love and dislike, thinking about how I have to change my life. I keep thinking “it’s time”.  I run on my treadmill at night plotting new paths both wild and ambitious. These thoughts are constantly running through my head while I listen on auto replay “Come a little Closer” and “High by the Beach” which seems to fit in well with my new California address.  Yet, it has always been that time for change. I have never stood still.

Mid-life crises come about for many people because they come to realize at a certain point (usually between their forties and sixties) their very own mortality. Me, I have always been aware of my mortality. I have to wonder if mid-life crisis differ by urban versus suburban upbringing.  In the poor streets of America, many know very well that life isn’t forever.  It is probably from that experience where we get the rise of #YOLO (you only live once) cries and exclamations. Although, research on mid-life crisis phenomenon has found that during one’s youth and more senior years feeling satisfied and happy tend to peak and then dip during the middle years of life.  It is basically an “U” shape line of happiness.  Look at the film American Beauty which showcased Kevin Spacey’s acting chops as well as depicting a middle-aged man pursuing a far younger woman and making radical life changes to feel younger.  There were some bad consequences there. Yet, if we go back to this current #YOLO movement, it would appear that people are trying to mitigate a mid-life crisis by perhaps experiencing a crisis in their younger angst-ridden years in anticipation of a mid-life crisis. Huh? Yes.

In psychology there is such an mindset event as anticipated regret that is tied with sensation seeking as well. At this point, with technological advances and intense focus on the self(ie) anticipated regret is ruling many life paths. I don’t necessarily feel mired in anticipated regret. I think I have maybe taken a total of 10 selfies and maybe posted only one ever.  I don’t feel like I am in a mid-life crisis but instead feel that I am (1) less tolerant of being in a bad situation, and (2) I see my time as one that has many opportunities.

There is much to be done and I want to do it all. I have attempted a vision board but I can’t quite get into yet. I have been looking for mobile apps to help me get started but they all seem so lame in how they treat visions on such a superficial level. And that is just par for this modern course isn’t it? I mean, tons of apps exists for people to get going on their vision quests but just like a Kim Kardashian book, they are all so superficial and self-indulgent in a way that doesn’t really further a true path course.  I suppose if I am looking for a meaningful guide, I am better off getting on a rollercoaster on the Santa Cruz boardwalk.

At the end of the day, we are for the most part when we are awake we are trying to connect with ourselves. We are trying to connect with our future self. Who is that person? Where are we walking to? What path shall we take? Everyday is filled with these questions. I seem to be asking these questions more and more each day.   The main thing to consider is not getting mired and stuck in the sand.

2015-09-05 13.00.07

5 replies »

  1. I feel your angst. I’ve come to think that we get to a certain point in life, mid-life, where we have indulged the societal equation of what will make us happy and find it is full of holes. We need to love ourselves. Sounds simple, but it takes a lot of work. We are pushed to live from the outside in, all our lives. Happiness is an inside job, and lovely when it finally becomes a part of you, there is no deeper love or satisfaction. But society mixes it up, shallowly as usual, with narcissism, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Provocative post, thanks!


    • Provocative (though sage in my view) reply, Christina. And Mimi, sometimes life or God or whatever will mire you in the sand or wherever for a short time, force you to take a breath and/or a step back, to clear the space and time for serious but possibly less stressed thinking.

      Many years ago I took est training. One of their guiding principles was that we are meant to be human beings as opposed to what we often are which is human doings. I have come to believe that there is a time to be one and a time to be the other. Maybe this is your time to be more of a human being than a human doing?

      Liked by 1 person

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