This Week’s Wacky, Weird News With a bit of stickiness, loonyness and extra flavor

When you need a drink, you need a drink.   A drunk woman really wanted another drink. She was super thirsty and eager to get her drinking on.  What is a drunk woman to do in such a case? Well, head to the local jail, of course.  Yes, a drunk woman mistook jail for a bar and that is completely understandable.

There are spiders and then there ARE spiders.   In a Guyana rainforest, scientists came across a spider as big as a puppy. Yes, uber scary and big.  Meanwhile across the globe, an Australian man came back from his travels in Indonesia with a bit of a belly ache. What could it be? Well, a spider of course! Yes, a spider got into his body through a torso scar. Reminds me of a scary dream I had many years ago.

I’m hooked on you. Seriously.  A couple was feeling the love on the beach. They decided to head into the waters, as such. However, some things can occur in the water that create a big of a sticky situation. Like what you may ask? Well, the act of “suctioning”, of course. The couple ended up stuck on each other and had to be taken to the local hospital. At least they didn’t get bit by the Russian fish with human teeth.

I’d like a little extra flavor with that latte. Starbucks has made caramel, vanilla, and hazelnut lattes ubiquitous.  There is barely any straight up plain coffee drinks anymore. McDonald’s too now has its own flavored lattes. A man at a Canadian McDonald’s supposedly ordered a non-favored coffee. However, he a got a little bit of added flavor with his order. What you wonder? Well, a mouse, of course.  At least that supposed unhappy coffee drinker didn’t get laser stunned as what happened to a fellow unhappy diner at a Burger King.  Perhaps they can take a page out of McDonald’s marketing playbook and open up a new question and answer campaign about slime and worms. Call me skeptical but I do not believe that is going to work out very well.

Make sure to blow your nose when you land.   There are many reasons for blowing one’s nose upon landing. For example, you can pop your ears and cleanse out your system from the recycled air. But why else you may ask? Well, you could very well have a three-inch leech up your nose, of course.

There are chickens and then there are chickens. Whenever someone tries a new meat they tend to say “well, it takes like chicken”. Chicken-flavor is everywhere and in everything, somehow. Perhaps it is because chickens are becoming larger and larger. Researchers have found that chickens are now four times larger than they used to be. I don’t know about you but that scares me.

Invisible burglar. When you break into a home you try to avoid alarm systems and video cameras. That is if you take pride in your chosen profession of being a burglar. At least that is what television has taught me. Well, this would-be burglar in Florida wanted to go unseen. What did he use to cover himself up? Why tar, of course! Oh my.

Bad karma is coming.   I can possibly understand stealing food from a supermarket or a lipstick or two. But stealing someone’s leg? Really? Not only did someone steal a man’s prosthetic leg, but that man was a veteran. That is some bad karma coming to that woman.

Bad karma is really coming. A loved one died but you don’t have time to sit in a room and listen to people speak well do the deceased. What are you to do? Well, do a drive-thru funeral, of course.

Well, there you have it this week’s wacky, sticky news situations. What is happening in your home town?