At some past Red Carpet events lately some female celebrities have been flashing a bit more than their smile. Paris Hilton, apparently, likes to go commando (without underwear) a lot. That is somewhat to be expected from someone who had a video distribution called “One Night in Paris”. Anne Hathaway, Oscar nominee and winner, also had a flashing incident leaving her limousine at her Les Miserables premiere. She released a statement soon after noting how devastated she was at her inability to exit a limousine gracefully. Now, I find it very hard myself to exit a cab, car, limousine or any type of vehicle gracefully. I am a rather clumsy person and always a hot mess when traveling. However, because I know my limitations if I were going “commando” I would take extra precaution such as sticking a post it note somewhere to remind me of my commando status.
I hardly ever take a cab in New York City. First off, my legs can probably get me to my destination faster. Second, a cab in New York City is like a roller-coaster ride. I always leave the cab a bit nauseous and disoriented. Third, I just feel really claustrophobic. Whenever I do take a cab in NYC I have to be on the lookout for that aggressive fellow New Yorker that wants to jump in the cab and steal it away from me. They are out there and people have no shame stealing a cab from anyone, including an elderly person in a wheelchair. I have seen it happen folks. Luckily for me, almost anytime I do take a cab in New York I am wearing a dress and heels and I know how to wield a heel.
Anyway, exiting cab in New York City is not for the brave of heart. You usually find that there is another passenger waiting to jump into the cab the second your toe peeks out. Furthermore, the cab driver is eager to get out of traffic that he is blocking by dropping you off in the middle of a block. Plus, he is eager to make another fare. Basically, there is a lot of pressure to get out of the cab very quickly. Talk about performance anxiety. I always fail at getting out of the cab quickly. I stumble out of the cab with my bags while I am stuffing my change into random pockets. My heels get stuck in the sewer vents or get caught in a wad of chewing gum left behind by some sadistic person. My dress goes all over the place and I truly appear a hot mess. That folks is why I always wear underwear in New York City. If you truly don’t want those lines to show, get spandex.
There you have it. That is my piece of advice for the day to anyone traveling in New York. Put your panties on. Your dress can get caught on a door handle. Someone eager to grab the cab from you may inadvertently lift up part of your dress. Furthermore, don’t forget that there are wind tunnels throughout the city. In particular, there are wind tunnels down near Ground Zero and Tribeca. So, pay heed if you are heading to any trendy restaurant downtown hoping to see Robert DeNiro. It may be that other things get seen instead. Now, if you are going somewhere where there are paparazzi or there is a show being filmed (which happens a lot in New York), wear sunglasses to shield your eyes from the flashes so that you do not stumble out of the car. And, again, might I suggest that post-it note.