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Is there ever an elegant way to get out of a cab in New York City especially if going Commando?

 

Is there ever an elegant way to get out of a cab in New York City especially if going Commando?

 

cab

At some past Red Carpet events lately some female celebrities have been flashing a bit more than their smile.   Paris Hilton, apparently, likes to go commando (without underwear) a lot.   That is somewhat to be expected from someone who had a video distribution called “One Night in Paris”.   Anne Hathaway, Oscar nominee and winner, also had a flashing incident leaving her limousine at her Les Miserables premiere. She released a statement soon after noting how devastated she was at her inability to exit a limousine gracefully.   Now, I find it very hard myself to exit a cab, car, limousine or any type of vehicle gracefully. I am a rather clumsy person and always a hot mess when traveling.   However, because I know my limitations if I were going “commando” I would take extra precaution such as sticking a post it note somewhere to remind me of my commando status.

 

 

I hardly ever take a cab in New York City. First off, my legs can probably get me to my destination faster. Second, a cab in New York City is like a roller-coaster ride. I always leave the cab a bit nauseous and disoriented. Third, I just feel really claustrophobic.   Whenever I do take a cab in NYC I have to be on the lookout for that aggressive fellow New Yorker that wants to jump in the cab and steal it away from me.   They are out there and people have no shame stealing a cab from anyone, including an elderly person in a wheelchair. I have seen it happen folks. Luckily for me, almost anytime I do take a cab in New York I am wearing a dress and heels and I know how to wield a heel.

 

 

Anyway, exiting cab in New York City is not for the brave of heart. You usually find that there is another passenger waiting to jump into the cab the second your toe peeks out. Furthermore, the cab driver is eager to get out of traffic that he is blocking by dropping you off in the middle of a block. Plus, he is eager to make another fare. Basically, there is a lot of pressure to get out of the cab very quickly.  Talk about performance anxiety. I always fail at getting out of the cab quickly. I stumble out of the cab with my bags while I am stuffing my change into random pockets.   My heels get stuck in the sewer vents or get caught in a wad of chewing gum left behind by some sadistic person. My dress goes all over the place and I truly appear a hot mess. That folks is why I always wear underwear in New York City.  If you truly don’t want those lines to show, get spandex.

 

 

There you have it. That is my piece of advice for the day to anyone traveling in New York. Put your panties on.   Your dress can get caught on a door handle. Someone eager to grab the cab from you may inadvertently lift up part of your dress.   Furthermore, don’t forget that there are wind tunnels throughout the city. In particular, there are wind tunnels down near Ground Zero and Tribeca.   So, pay heed if you are heading to any trendy restaurant downtown hoping to see Robert DeNiro. It may be that other things get seen instead. Now, if you are going somewhere where there are paparazzi or there is a show being filmed (which happens a lot in New York), wear sunglasses to shield your eyes from the flashes so that you do not stumble out of the car.  And, again, might I suggest that post-it note.

 

 

14 replies »

  1. Very funny! I suspect that Ms. Hilton likes to flash a bit to keep her name in the news. A few years back, flashing the cooch had reached epidemic status among celebrities. Thankfully, men don’t have to worry about exiting a cab or a air vent on the sidewalk. 😉

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  2. Discovered your blog today through the Daily Prompt : ) And I am glad I did : )

    The whole “no-underwear” thing – I don’t get it. I think I would be a nervous mess all day, especially in a skirt. My poo-nanny would have to be perennially ready for public inspection, and who wants that? In this day and age of the thong,and spandex – why do these women take such risks? Two words for Paris: Attention whore; 1 word for Anne – clueless.

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  3. With no underwear, your dress could get stuck into the wrong places in humid weather (or rain, for that matter). Ugh. How uncomfortable. But, some folks will do anything just for a possible extra look from the other sex. As far as those New York city cab drivers… I’ll never forget my experiences one Thanksgiving weekend when visiting my daughter. My husband and I stayed at a hotel. My daughter’s apartment was too small. Two adults, two children, two cats. You get the picture. Anyway, each time we took a cab to and from apartment, I almost had a heart attack. I will never comprehend how those cabbies will get from point A to point B without crashing on the way, or at least causing one. I finally had to literally cover my eyes. I couldn’t bear to look at what was going on outside the cab.

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  4. your header caught my eye. I had to read because I knew it would be humorous. As a former “pink lady” aka Mary Kay consultant, our director taught us how to gracefully enter and exit, but it was so unpractical!
    Their suggestion was: open the car door, turn your fanny facing inside sitting as you pretend that you were holding an m&m between your knees when you sit and swing your legs together into the vehicle. And boy did she have an answer for all those little faux pauxs.
    I’m a bit roundy and my back isnt strong, so I go in one leg at a time, you know, like normal people. but should I, for what ever reason, go commando, I will remember a sticky note.

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