I am a mega early-bird. I’m up early and full of energy to get things done. I think in part, that early-bird DNA I have comes from wanting to get up and share my dreams early on in the day. Let me explain.
Growing up my mother always emphasized that when I had a nightmare, I had to immediately upon the sunrise, share my dream. Upon waking up, I was to set free the bad thoughts, feelings, and visions. But those bad dreams could only be free if the sun was shining. Clouds of any kind would be an immediate reason to mute and muffle the dream storytelling. If you shared a bad dream while dark or cloudy you were putting in jeopardy your safety and that of others.
According to my mother’s beliefs sunrise is the time that shines a light into ones soul and drives away evil spirits and intensions. Thus, I have always shared my nightmares at the crack of dawn.
Sadly, these past two few weeks I have had a reoccurring nightmare in which I feel the breath leaving someone’s body. I kept waking up grasping at the air about me trying to snatch the breath and soul of whatever being it was I tried to protect in my dream. Sadly, I didn’t get a chance to share that dream with anyone. I kept wanting to share it with someone, anyone. But I didn’t get a chance to share with anyone.
This past week, I was out on travel on a fairly long meeting that seemed to never want to end. Then I had additional work to do at night. I was going to bed exhausted and with a disquieted mind. I continued to have nightmares but could not recall them. I knew those dreams were bad but had no outlet to ventilate and air them out for bashing. But I had a heavy weight over me. My shoulder drooped and my head was fuzzy.
Then on Wednesday I got horrible news. A friend and colleague had died. He had died alone. I went into a state of shock. That heavy weight I had been feeling finally brought me down reeling. The sun was out. It shouldn’t have happened.
My heart and body are still heavy. Now, however, there is a different type of heaviness. The next sunrise I catch I hope the heavy weight dissipates.