This past week, that saw the various celebratory occurrences of Mardi Gras, I was in St. Louis Missouri for business. I had no idea that a mid-western (sort of southern) town could so readily get into Mardi Gras. I have always associated Mardi Gras with New Orleans. We ended up at Sanctuaria Tapas restaurant where I got to have a gloriously delicious fig and pork dish. Seemed like an interesting, slightly wacky dish to partake of. It was a wonderful way to wrap up a business trip and Mardi Gras in St. Louis. While I was on the business road, I noticed that there were some weird food-related news going on in the world.
A literal fortune cookie. A New York woman wanted to play the lotto. She ate some Chinese food and got a fortune cookie. The cookie came with some numbers. She played the numbers from the meal and won. She is foregoing a trip to Disney and is going to Switzerland instead.
Looming guacamole shortage. Everyone is talking about the day Armageddon hits-the day in which there is no more guacamole. People have wondered what Chipotle would do. Climate change naysayers are even starting to believe. The power of guacamole is amazing.
Unscrupulous muggers. In Annapolis, Maryland a pregnant woman was in labor. She walked out of her building with her partner. At that point the pregnant woman in labor was mugged by two men. The two men were eventually caught. If there is a hall of fame for low-life muggers these two may very well be at the top of that chart. Guess they will be eating a bunch of bread and water going forward.
Money hungry thief. A man in Florida stole money from his girlfriend’s wallet, he also took some Valium. As he was in the police car in the back, he ate some of the money. Guess we learned that Valium can give one the munchies as well.
LSD-laced meat. Speaking of munchies. A family, including a pregnant mother, in Tampa ate a meal together. They soon got ill together and went to the hospital together. Apparently the meat that they bought at the local Walmart was tainted with LSD. The pregnant woman’s labor was induced. They are all ok. However, the mystery remains who put the LSD in the proverbial cookie jar?
Poisoned coffee pill. An Illinois woman by the name of Amanda Pollard was feeling a wee bit angry at being dumped by her boyfriend. Ripping a page out of the Fatal Attraction rulebook, she snuck into her ex-boyfriend’s place and essentially booby-trapped his place. She left poisoned pellets in his coffee grounds and tampered with an electric blanket. And people say movies are so unrealistic these days. Oh, she also peed in his mouthwash. Yum.
Pee-filled swimming pools. A new research study found that uric acid (and other chemicals) in urine can lead to potentially harmful byproducts when in contact with chlorinated swimming pool water. Yup, I think most of us suspected which is why just like a Pavlovian dog we run when a kid enters the swimming pool and our appetite is lessened.
Swiss-Cheese Perv Part deux. A while ago I wrote about the swiss cheese perv who went about town propositioning to women with cheese on his genitals. This past week, he was at it again. This time around he asked some women if they would like to get paid to watch him put Swiss cheese on his genitals. Slightly different tactic he used this time around. Still didn’t work.
There’s an app for that. Are you craving bacon? Want to wake up to the smell of bacon in the morning? Well, there is an app for that.
Star Trek pancakes. Trekkies rejoice. There is now the chance to have pancakes in the likeness of your favorite star trek character. Live long and prosper.
Ah, all this talk of food is making me hungry. Bon Appetit, Buen provecho and itadakimasu!