Yes! The Olympics are over. Now we can go back to our regularly scheduled programming. Our selfie obsession has now officially spread to animal kingdom realm. Animals have been stealing cameras and taking selfies in the forests. It’s been a weird work week for me. Quiet surreal at times actually. However, I’m not the only one suffering through off work interactions. Here are some wacky news from the past week with a special emphasis on the work world broadly defined.
Waffles on the mind. If you have traveled through the deep south, you know that Waffle House is a ubiquitous food chain where you can get chicken and waffles. In Atlanta a woman decided to pass off as a Waffle House area manager and stopped in to one such establishment at 6am in a Waffle House uniform. She calmly went about the establishment and went to the cash register and took about $100. My question is how did she get the uniform? If she sewed it, she is quiet an ambitious woman.
Moving body bag. Imagine you are quietly going about your funeral home business and you notice that there is some twitching movement in one of the body bags? What would you do? I would probably poke it with a stick and run. Anyway, workers in a Mississippi funeral home came across such a situation and found that the man in the body bag was actually alive. So, honey how was your day at work?
Crabby fishermen. Something is afoot in the waters off of Florida. Fishermen in Florida are apparently having a hard time catching stone crabs. The culprit? The octopus hanging about the waters. Those wily Octopus are upstaging the fishermen by getting to the crabs before the fishermen do. No one likes a prima donna in the workplace.
Taking one’s work to the cow fields. An IT guy decided to use his technology skills out in the field. His friend got dressed up in jello and had sex with a cow while he recorded the interaction. The cow ran away and caused a traffic accident. The farmer had noticed that recently his cows were acting oddly. Thus he set up a video camera to try to capture what had been going on in his work fields. No one has explained the jello component of this all.
Police Dirty Talk. A woman was feeling a little lonely. She went ahead and drank up some liquor. Then she called the police to keep her company in more ways than one. The cops left and she called them again because she was disappointed the cop that came over the first time wouldn’t have sex with her. This situation does give new meaning to desperate housewife.
Bitter Ex-bosses. A former boss apparently still holds a grudge against a former employee. He went ahead and tried to hire someone to break the legs and more of one of his former employees. He specifically wanted to have his ex-employee’s tongue cut out. Hmm. Team meetings must have been tough in that workplace.
Putting your tongue where it doesn’t belong. A doctor in West Virginia had his tongue bitten off when he went ahead and placed it where it didn’t belong. He placed his tongue in his patient’s mouth. Guess what, though. The doctor is not facing any jail time although he will be put on probation.
What’s for dinner in Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas, I hear. Local Republican candidate Tink Nathan would like to make sure that all Texas have enough food on their plates. He is thus pushing for legislation that will allow individuals to rat roadkill. Apparently, that is currently a misdemeanor Texas is indeed a huge state and consequently there must be a lot of roadkill. I am not too sure if roadkill will give his candidacy a leg up over the others but it’s good to know there are innovative solutions being put forth to fight hunger in America.
Chupacabra-it’s what’s for dinner. A Texas man by the name of Doug Ohrt claims to have killed the legendary Puerto Rican chupacabra beast. I suppose it could under Tink Nathan’s proposed legislation be served up for dinner. However, the Texan did supposedly slay the chupacacbra on his property. Thus, it’s not roadkill. Would he be willing to share?
At a loss for words. You would think that if your job was to run a spelling bee contest that you would make sure you have enough words for the event. Unfortunately, for those kids competing in Jackson County, there was no contingency plan when the event holders ran out of words. Their excuse was that the kids were super intelligent. Apparently, having super intelligent kids was not part of the plan. The kids meanwhile get to engage in a bit of “schadenfreude.” How is that spelled again?
Bad employees. Bad bosses. Bad workplaces. What are we all to do? We could do what notoriously cranky newscaster Keith Olbermann professes to have done while he was at MSNBC. During his MSNBC tenure, he claims to not have ever watched his own television channel. One could argue, then, he had a great sense of work/life balance. Ah, to dream of such a disconnect from work.