Apparently feathers have been everywhere these past few weeks at Fashion Week. Feathers on dresses. Feathers on sleeves. Feathers exploding off hats like a bedazzled peacock having a nervous breakdown.
The runway looked like someone shook a giant down comforter over Manhattan and called it couture.
And honestly? Boy, am I lucky I don’t belong to that world.
I cannot imagine myself sitting front row, clapping politely while a model power-walks past me in what can only be described as a feather duster with delusions of grandeur.
Meanwhile, in my much more glamorous real life, I’m at the allergist. Because I’ve been sneezing like I’m auditioning for a Kleenex commercial and I get the results:
Dust? Sure.
Ragweed? Naturally.
But then comes the plot twist.
Feathers.
Highly allergic.
Not mildly allergic.
Not “just avoid geese on Tuesdays.”
No. Highly allergic.
Suddenly, my entire life flashes before my eyes:
No down pillows. No down coats.
No feather comforters. No leaning wistfully against a decorative throw pillow at a fancy hotel. No backyard chickens (tragic, truly). No spontaneous pillow fights unless I want to die dramatically like a Victorian heroine.
And apparently there will be no fashion shows either.
Because if feathers are the hot trend, I would walk into that runway tent, breathe once, and immediately become the other show. The one where someone sneezes themselves into a medical chart.
But you know what? Lucky me.
Fashion Week can keep its feathery chaos, its glitter bombs, its frantic clapping, and its models strutting in outfits that cost more than rent but look suspiciously like the craft aisle exploded.
I’ll be over here, happily feather-free, rocking my allergy-friendly existence. No danger of couture suffocation. No risk of sneezing onto a supermodel. No chance of being mistaken for someone who understands why a feather boa costs $4,700.
So feathers may be having a moment. But so am I. A moment of clarity, gratitude, and a whole lot of antihistamines.
Honestly?
I think I came out ahead.
Categories: Culture, current events, Fashion, Health, identity, Pop Culture, Psychology
psychologistmimi 
Giving up a feather pillow would be a hard one.
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Sadly Dear Miriam i Was Born With No Feathers to Fly
i Had to adapt as my Father Rather Surprised Remarked
to my Mother When i Was Born That
i Was Fuzzy
Rather than
Feathered Indeed
It’s True my Wife Could
Find Not a Single Feather
All Full Grown at 29 Years
Old Either Only Fur From Head to Toe
Except For that Part that is the Crown of my Head
Hehe
So What to Do
to Learn How to Fly
It’s True i Joined the Navy
Not Active Duty Yet Civilian
For a Quarter of A Century to
Support the Budding Pilots at
the Busiest Naval Airstation in the United
States
Hmm With All
The Helicopters
And Planes i Might
Get Some Clue How to Do It
Without Any Feathers at all
For It’s True i Still Have
Arms For Wings and
Fingers to Help
me Turn Like a Helicopter
On Terrestrial Smooth Dance Floors
Provided Free by Sam Walton and Now
Apparently AI that is Slowly And Fastly
Taking Over All the Moving Parts of the Corporation
Yet Not me no
Machine am i
For i Fly in Flow
Now With the Greatest
Of Ease FRiEnDS With Gravity
Not Really Defying Gravity FRiEnDS
With Gravity Moving my 250 Pound
Winged Body About an Inch off the
Ground For True With Balance the
Feeling of Flying May Be Obtained
Even on Solid Ground it’s Not
Easy to Explain Yet When
You Experience it True
You Will No Longer Need
to Go to the State Fair or
Disney World For Any Mechanical Rides
As You become the Bird in FLiGHT on Terrestrial Earth
True Not Exactly Earth Yet close Enough on Smooth Store
Dance
Floors
It Takes Millions
of Dollars to Train
A Navy Pilot And True
(Free Except for a
Zillion Changes of
New Athletic Shoes)
(My Wife Buys them
in Bulk on the Cheap
From Foreign Countries
on Amazon Before the Bloody
Tariffs Hit Thank Goodness)
It’s Taken 146 Months
And 22,766 Miles Not Quite
The Distance Around the Equator
(24,901) Miles Yet Give me another
Year when i Reach 66 Years-Old and that
Should Be Enough
for full Lift Off as
Long as i can
Still Leg
Press
1540
Pounds 12 Reps
at the Military Gym
Just Warming Up as
6 scale my Weight
in Strength of Legs
Is Part of the
Physics
That Makes
the Science
of This Art
of Wings Real Without
Feathers or Jet Fuel to Play hehe
Feathers Are For the Birds Surfing
is For Walking On Water Moon Walking
Was Yesterday
The Milky
WaY iN
Walmart
Is Today hehe…
i Am No Fashion Model
Yet the General Audience
Has Taken Zillions of Voyeur
Pics and Videos to spread on Social Media
Again Like i Tale the Dudes at the Military
Gym As Their Jaws Drop when i mention i am
Also 65 Years-Old
Doing This
What Use is all
This Leg Strength
If You Can’t Dance
The Distance Around
The Equator And Bring
SMiLes to Every Store Your
Wife
Shops in
Hehe True
It Used to Be
So Dam Boring
in those Places
Just Tagging ALong
After Driving Ms Daisy There…
Now
iFly
Solo
So Low
With the
Greatest of Ease
And Nope Still
Not A Single Feather
Or Elon Musk Hair Plug
For the
Crown
of my Head..:)
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