This morning, somewhere between the grogginess of waking up and the steam of the shower, I found myself mid-verse in an Alanis Morissette song.
Not a playlist in sight. No radio playing. Just me belting out:
“I got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is hailin’ a taxi cab.”

Wait! How did that get there and out my mouth?

I hadn’t intentionally chosen Alanis as my morning muse. But there she was, crooning through my vocal cords before my brain had finished booting up. The subconscious DJ strikes again. Apparently, my psyche requested a 90s alt-rock anthem before I’d even had coffee. And honestly? Respect.

The lyrics kept swirling around me like the shower steam:
“I’m sad but I’m laughing. I’m brave but I’m chicken sh–”
Oops. You know the line. And let’s be real, what a painfully accurate emotional inventory for a random workday.

That song? It’s the anthem of contradictions. Of complexity. Of holding multitudes.
It’s the shrug of “I’m doing my best” in musical form.
And it stuck to me like conditioner I forgot to rinse out.

Maybe I didn’t consciously wake up with that song in my head. But somewhere deep down, my internal GPS which is equal parts psychologist, tired New Yorker, and wayward karaoke star knew I needed a flashlight. A melodic guidepost to carry me through the day’s emotional sludge.

Because yes, I am juggling a thousand things, trying to stay soft in a hard world, laughing to keep from crying, hailing metaphorical taxi cabs to nowhere and everywhere. Aren’t we all?

So today, I let Alanis ride shotgun in my brain.
I put one hand in my dress pocket (because yes I love dresses with pockets), and I stepped out the door humming,
ready to face the chaos with a little alt-rock therapy echoing in the background.

Sometimes, your subconscious knows what you need before you do.