There is simply too much beef. Beef is expensive.Beef is everywhere.And apparently, everyone has beef with everyone else. There is even a television show called Beef, which is essentially an extended meditation on what happens when two people cannot let a grudge go. We have become remarkably committed […]
I’ve noticed something at train stations. Nobody uses the handrails anymore. Up the stairs. Down the stairs. Everyone is gripping their phones, their coffee, their bags, their existential dread. But the handrail? Absolutely not. I assume this is a lingering COVID-era thing. We spent two years being told […]
I recently learned about something called the 37% rule, which sounds less like a mathematical theory and more like a suspicious diet plan. Apparently, it comes from the optimal stopping problem, which is a very polite, academic way of saying: “How long should I keep scrolling before I […]
There comes a point in every day when you start to question not just what time it is, but what day it even is. Today was one of those days. You know the kind where you’re running around like a headless chicken, except this chicken is also holding […]
For reasons that defy logic, caffeine, or the laws of neural firing, R.E.M.’s “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?” has set up camp in my brain. Rent-free. No deposit, no lease, just living there playing at 3 a.m., during Zoom meetings, and while I’m feeding the dogs. Now, I haven’t […]
“Personal tragedy has ways of focusing us in ways other things can’t.”Congressman Joseph Morelle, NY, recently said this, and oh boy, is that ever true. Focus isn’t always a calm, zen-like, candlelit process. Sometimes it’s a zap. A kick in the gut. A cruel nudge from the universe […]
Sometimes life feels like crossing a desert with no map. The air shimmers, the horizon wavers, and in our longing, we convince ourselves that the blur ahead is an oasis of shade, water, relief. But more often than not, when we finally stumble closer, we realize it was […]
They say you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. Once it’s out, it’s out. It’s one of those old-timey sayings meant to remind you that actions have consequences. Spilled milk. Said words. Forward momentum. Irreversible things. But the other day, in the middle of my daily […]
This morning, somewhere between the grogginess of waking up and the steam of the shower, I found myself mid-verse in an Alanis Morissette song.Not a playlist in sight. No radio playing. Just me belting out:“I got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is hailin’ a […]
Sometimes, you just have to do it. You have to open up your streaming app of choice, lower your standards to basement-level, and dive headfirst into the cinematic dumpster fire that is purposefully bad movies. Not ironically. Not as background noise. No. You commit. And reader, I committed […]
