No, you did not ask me: I need to own my own narrative


Look, I am a news junkie. Have been for the longest time. Even so, I tale breaks from the news every once in a while for whole weeks because it is all a bit nutty these days.   I triangulate and more my news sources so that I do not fall under the spell of fake or mildly twisted news stories. I am not one to claim everything is fake news but there is definitely some stories out there that are written to fit a pre-set narrative.  But that is not what I am here to talk about.


See, recently I was on a flight from east to west coast and my cabin mates completely did their own “fake news” story about me. And, it irked me to no end. So much so that I have to vent about it here.


I was flying back home from a very long business trip where my meetings went well into the night. each day of the trip. Because I knew the trip was going to be taxing, I treated myself to a nice seat on the flight back home. I have enough points that I got to pick a very nice aisle seat. There are windows-seat people and there are aisle-seat people. To each their own. I prefer aisle seats. I need to stretch my leg as I have torn knee muscles.  Plus, I really do not like feeling stuck in a row by the window. What id I need to use the restroom and the person in the aisle seat is fast asleep?  I hate those scenarios. An aisle seat makes me happy and thus I treated myself to a nice one. Fast forward to the flight back home. Whereby I boarded the plane and sat in my seat looking forward to viewing my downloaded shows.


My seat-mate came and scooted in. She seemed pleasant enough. Then she tapped my lightly and asked me whether I had specifically chose an aisle seat. That what the question she asked. I answered that yes I had. She then turned and proceeded to stuff her backpack partly under my floor space. I did not know what to make of it. Then two men I get into their seats in the row in front of me. But they were not together. As a matter of fact the men at the window seat was the husband of the woman next to me.   The flight attendant passes by and asks them if they had wanted to sit next to each other. To which she responds loudly so that everyone around could here “I asked her if she would switch and she said no”.   No. That was not the question. She had asked if I specifically chose an aisle seat; which I had. She was lying. But now I looked like the “bad guy.” I chose to not respond because I didn’t want to then be labeled the “angry one”.


Now, why had this woman said this? Part of me believes that she truly thought she had asked me that question.  Part of me thinks she was just a truly nasty person. At the end of the flight, as we are departing, she went on to make the same statement.   Unbelievable! She was misstating and misrepresenting what had indeed happened. It is situations like these that often get out there. My situation is just a teeny, tiny matter. But imagine larger scale events.  I truly do not care for this woman. And, I even hoped that she missed her connecting flight for being a liar. Hoping that karma took care of her since I did not speak up. I thought that for a second, I admit. Then I realized I can not go around wishing people such ill will even though she did me wrong. But lesson learned. Next time I will ask the person to clarify what their question and intent truly is so that my intentions do not get mischaracterized. I need to own my own narrative even in small situations such as these.

7 replies »

  1. Whew! What an exhausting waste of your time on the planet. You were way more polite than I could possibly have been when you wrote: “Next time I will ask the person to clarify what their question …” It is quite possible that the husband of the woman was thanking you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Omg. I hate this type of nonsense. But honestly, after I turned 40 I started
    Speaking my mind. I would not have said anything either before. But now I would have said. “No. That is not what you asked. You asked me this….” and “I do not appreciate being spoken about in the third person. I am right here. Also please move your baggage from under my seat and leave your bad energy elsewhere. “. This recently happened to me on a trip where this dude cut the line. When I pointed out he did a this he said “well I have a flight I have to catch”. I said “well, everyone on this line has a
    Flight to catch, that is why we are on the line. “.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Needless to
    Say. He did not appreciate my remark and made a big show of going back to where he was. And guess what? We were on the same flight!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. good grief! Some people are just totally wrapped up in their own little spheres and the rest of us are just zonaires that do not matter. You did well to remain calm and just “think” a few things about this woman.


  5. It seems we’ve forgotten how to behave in public spheres. I blame smartphones and anything that takes you out of the here and now. It makes it so easy to pretend no one else exists and therefore if someone talks to you in their own telegraphic language, they assume you should be able to read their mind. Honestly! I’m sorry you had to deal with such unpleasantness. But someone who behaves the way she did will sooner or later be forced to see what they’re really like.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The big deal on plane trips gone was : ” Would you like the chicken or the beef?”.
    Now a psychology masters is necessary to deal with an increasingly unruly public.
    Next trip, remember how bad garlic can smell if you are the “non-consumer”.
    A plate of spaghetti riddled with the stuff should see off any seat snatchers.
    Cheers Mimi B


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