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What to do when your friend is dating a douche like Kanye West

What to do when your friend is dating a douche like Kanye West

I woke up jazzed this morning. I am getting things done but don’t feel harried. I am about to had out and get a hair cut with a new hairstylist that I am getting good vibes from. One thing I did do this morning is look at list of items that I should do before I get on the plane to California for my new job. I looked at the list and saw that there were a couple of items I will not be able to accomplish and I shrugged. I did think back, however, to the Grammys this past weekend because a particular Grammy night situation reminded me of a situation in my own life that has impacted how often I often get to see some people.

The Grammy’s came and went. For the most part we will remember that Sam Smith won big and that is about all to remember more or less. There were no real outlandish performances. We may all feel both a little old and good at seeing Madonna, at the age of 56, put on such a vibrant performance. However, I don’t even remember the song. What many of us may remember, is how Kanye West again decided to storm the stage after Beyonce lost out on an award. He didn’t say anything and let beck have his speech time. However, Kanye yet again ruined someone else’ s moment of glory. At this point I think we all have to wonder why does he keep getting invited to these events. Should he not be, at this point, persona non grata?

There in the front row of the Grammys was Kanye’s wife Kim Kardashian sporting her new hair cut hoping she would somehow be the center of attention even while sitting next to Kanye. Good luck with that.   Kim is the quintessential friend that you start slowly losing contact with because her partner is a douche.   Everyone has such a friend.

We have all had that situation where our friend starts dating someone that is completely wrong for her and for humanity, really.   At some point they break up and you breathe a sigh of relief. However, you know better than to say anything negative for fear that they will get back together. It happens all the time.

I never liked my sister’s first husband but I voiced my opinion once and thereafter kept it to myself. I did manage to sneak in one “I told you so” when she announced they were breaking up but I whispered it.   Internally, I was doing a sad dance.

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I look at the ego that Kanye West has and wonder how anyone can date him. Of course, Kim Kardashian’s ego can match him step for step considering her sheer number of selfies and reality shows based on her family. However, psychological science tells us that a couple has a hard time staying together if they base their sense of self-esteem on the same thing or realm. Meaning, if you are a concert pianist you probably should not date a fellow pianist; although you can date a rock guitarist perhaps. Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale has note that his relationship with Gwen Stefani has survived in part because they are two completely different types of singers and perform different music genres.   Anyway, how do Kim and Kanye make it work when it seems that their everyday life is about further inflating their egos? I suppose they do it in different ways. One of them says totally mean-spirited outrageous things and the other just shows her butt and face to the camera from every angle. There you have the secret to their relationship: they further their egos using different tactics.

How, however, can you stay friends with Kim Kardashian when her husband is just so bloody awful? I suppose her friends can invite her to events that they know for sure that Kanye will never attend.   That’s a tactic we all know to use. Further when Kim sends her best wishes to your partner, you say thanks and quickly change the subject as you truly do not wish Kanye best wishes. Perhaps you do in the sense that you wish he would just learn to keep that mouth shut.   You can also plan totally last-minute get-togethers that make it completely impossible for Kanye to attend.  Basically, you don’t have to hang out with Kanye. It’s ok.

If you do happen to have to hang out with him and Kim, find common ground that your stomach can handle.  For instance, he too surely thinks, Kim Jong-un is wacky.   Right?  They have a cute kid together. The child can be a great source of conversation that will keep you all civilized and happy.  If none of these tactics work, there is always Facebook and texting. You can remind friends without having to interact in the real world.

13 replies »

  1. I’m always sad when my friends are in a relationship and then disappear. But that’s really a different issue. If you don’t like your friend’s SO, you either put up or shut up. There doesn’t seem to be a third choice.

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  2. I could never have anyone like Kim K. as a friend to begin with. I heartily dislike how her no-talent fame is idolized by young women who want to be like her. All of this “reality” television is ruining real-life. Great post!

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  3. You have it right on, sister. And they are considering conceiving another child!? We do NOT need any more of this nonsense. Here we are all, writing things down, doing things we enjoy to earn a living, and she just flaunts her ass and marries well. Good luck to North West, the only innocent in this train wreck.

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  4. I have seen Kim K’s friends on her shows. My take is that they are friends only for the publicity value and fame by association. What does psychology tell us about friendships based on those parameters?

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