Its wacky Wednesday: can I be part clone and part howler monkey to silence the critics

It is a wednesday morning here in New York. The trains are packed and the two cups of coffee have yet to kick in. Its drizzling and the finely fixed bobs will be frizzing out today. Its a time for wackiness and silly dreams and reflections. Here is my account of, if possible, what type of hybrid being I would be if I had such power to create an alternate self.

Yesterday, as I was commuting home after a long day of physical, political and mental labor, I noted to someone that I felt like a zoo animal at work. The office space is oftentimes a place where people are constantly on the lookout trying to discern the “why” and “what” of your actions. As a boss, sometimes those eyes trying to bore down to one’s spine, are even more intense and frantic.

Throughout the day I was doing three to four things simultaneously. A teleconference could not just be a long-winded conversation. A teleconference came with a side of answering emails and putting order to my new office space as well as an appetizer of research design thoughts. Meanwhile certain individuals felt the need to mark certain emails as urgent even though there was no real need to address them instantly. The marking of emails as important or urgent is just the latest manifestation of egocentrism gone wild. Might as well attach a selfie to that marked urgent email to complete the circle of ridiculousness.

It is all enough to make one want to scream!

As I sat in my office addressing a myriad of odd to truly dire needs I occasionally lapsed into dreams of having a clone. Now mind you, I wouldn’t want my clone bandying about doing things throughout the world space. I would want a clone as part of my own body. In this way my mental faculties would not be as taxed and I could continue to do Pilates exhaling through my exertions while my attached clone could continue to process the random and so-called urgent bits of information thrown my way from all directions.

While I drifted into my dreams of clones I was often snapped out of it by harsh bit of reality and office politics. I don’t understand why there are at times mean-spirited colleagues who demand attention and allegiance. If I could have a superpower or be part animal, I would be a howler monkey. While my clone would help in the processing of information and putting plans into action, my howler monkey part would just scream at the inanity. Howler monkeys’ screams can be heard for over three miles away. Ever since college, I have been into primal screams. How cool would it be to have an enhanced scream to literally silence the critics, whiners and nonsense spouting individuals. The even cooler part of a howler monkey is that they can sniff food out from two miles away. Now that is a welcomed super power.

I know. I may seem a bit off and cranky. In my defense it is Wednesday and wednesdays are truly the worse day of the week.

One last fact about the howler monkey. Their tails are quite long at times being five times longer than their body. With a tail like that one can make like Cher in Moonstruck and just swing it around screaming “snap out of it”

In old Mayan folklore, howler monkeys were seen as gods because of its beautiful tail and as patrons of scribes. Sounds inspiring to me. I think I will get through this Wednesday after all

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