The pentagon has a zombie survival guide and there’s cocaine in the toilet: This week’s wacky news

Happy spring. We are knee deep into the allergy season and a majority of us are sneezing up a storm.  It may be that all that sneezing, coughing and sniffling is making people a bit lightheaded.  If aliens were to land here this past week what would they have thought of us?

New reason to bend over the toilet?  Apparently in Britain there is so much cocaine use that it is now detectable in the water.   Is this a mass party or mass hysteria?  How will this impact the writing for Dr. Who?

Angry news reporter.   I have heard it said that everything is bigger in Texas. Apparently that includes on-air temper tantrums.  A Dallas television co-host did not appreciate Michael Sam’s kiss upon learning that he had indeed been drafted by the NFL. His exuberant celebratory reaction included hugging and kissing his boyfriend which was aired by the television stations across the country. Amy Kushnir was so upset by the kiss that she walked off the air telling everyone that she was done.  Well, that’s one way to storm off a job. Note that Lee Chingyu, an anchor for Next TV News in Shanghai,  was covering the local news when she learned of her friends suicide via teleprompter. She continued on with the story although deeply affected and finished up her job.  Maybe she can give some pointers to Ms. Kushnir.

Tux-wearing girl.   A high school girl in San Francisco was left out of her school yearbook because she wore a tux for the photo session.   Apparently that was not girly enough. Have they not read In Touch or other such magazines? Tuxedos are all the rage for women these days, including Rihanna.

Dress-diving guy.   If you wear a long dress on the red carpet keep your wits about you.  Actress America Ferrera was on the red carpet when a weirdo dove under her dress.   I’ve heard of mosh pit diving but this is just a bit too extreme.

Jealous Pentagon.   First the CDC came out with its walking dead survival guide. The Pentagon just could not let that be. They now have their own Zombie Survival Plan.  I’m wondering if the CDC and the Pentagon have survival guides-do they know something we do not?

Don’t got chocolate milk?   The state of Connecticut is mad and fighting back about a possible chocolate milk ban. If we get rid of chocolate milk in schools how will out kids continue to grow to new heights?

CNN.   There was a time when I took to heart CNN’s breaking news alerts. Nowadays, not so much.  Why would they bother to send me a breaking news alert that Magic Johnson told them in a sit-down interview that he would pray for Donald Sterling. Geez CNN-desperate for ratings?

Ok. Everyone. Step away from whatever spring medications you have been taking.