What ya talking about Willis, no twerking at homecoming? This week’s top ten wacky pronouncements

Tell me, which week doesn’t have a ton of wacky people doing silly things and even harmful things. I won’t even touch the latest school shooting. The media has noted the fact that one of the two who died (a teacher at the school)  was a former soldier in Afghanistan who survived several tours to only end up dying at the hands of a teenager in the US.  We always note that irony. Apparently, bullying was an issue in this school shooting. Can we have national dialogue on mental health already? No, you answer. As a country we are not ready you say? Well, then let’s go ahead and talk to kids about twerking and the dangers of it. Let us have a special focus this week on some of the sillier pronouncements to have made the news as well as some wacky unfortunate incidents. Here is to advancing the national dialogue.


1. Maryland high school.  In the land of government employees and contractors, there is a high school that felt they needed to extract a key promise from their students. So key a promise, they made their students sign a contract promising they would not twerk at homecoming. Depending on how it all turns out, maybe this school administrator can work extracting such a promise for our congressional members. But instead of thou shall not twerk, how about those shall not duck the US public over, again. Just saying.


2. Rob Nabors. While on the subject of shutdowns and such, there is a mystery about town. Oh DC, the land of such political intrigue. How about this? Who, if anybody, told the President they couldn’t even stand to look at him while in heated negotiations? Apparently, White House Deputy Chief of Staff Rob Nabors has been spreading a rumor. Somebody told me you had a boyfriend, oops wrong song. Apparently, the White House denies such a statement was made by a GOP member to the President. however, word on the street s that Mr. Nabors was the one to tell everyone that it did happen. So, which is it? Get your act together guys.  If you are going to spread a rumor, stick to your guns.



3. Don Yeltin. Yes Mr. Yeltin, not only could the Daily Show’s Aasif Mandavi, hear your wacky racist pronouncements, but we all could. Mr. Yeltin, the now former GOP Chair of the Buncombe County Republican Party (in North Carolina), asserted that “lazy black people want the government to give them everything“. Although he denies that statement was racist or intended as such he does not he’s been “called a bigot before.” Well now, is that just a rumor? But just in case you thought Mr. Yeltin was alone in his thoughts, fear not. The Atlanta Journal Constitution (a wide circulation southern newspaper) tweeted their congratulations to Mr. Willie Lynch, a Georgia Lottery winner. How nice of them, not. Here is the text of the tweet: “$1M GA Lottery winner Willie Lynch can get 40 acres and a whole lotta mules.”  Mr. Atlanta Journal tweeter, don’t quit your day job. Oh, wait. Maybe you should.  Oh Atlanta, what a hot mess you are at times. Did you all catch the guy that fell asleep in his car in the middle of an Atlanta Road?  As someone tried to wake up the guy, he got into a fistfight and tried to flee the scene. The silly part is that he had nowhere to flee considering he was stuck in a traffic jam he himself had caused.


4. McDonald’s Hotline. A very poor employee called the human resources hotline at McDonalds to get some help to figure out how to make ends meet. She has been working for McDonalds for ten years but still does not make enough to fully support herself and her kids. What was the response at the hotline? Why, the hotline was quite helpful telling her to go to a food pantry or get on SNAP (Supplemental Nutritional Assistance)– Food Stamps. Dear McDonalds Hotline perhaps you can offer Mr. Yeltin, who’s now unemployed, a job.


5. Sexiness gone far but not far enough.  It is hard being a college teaching assistant these days. A poor Iowa teaching assistant meant to send math assignments to her class saying  “Hi Class, I attach the solutions for number 76 and 78 in this email.” She did give them something to measure and compute, but it wasn’t necessarily a math problem. The teaching assistant sends nude photos to the class that then was discussed in the twitter universe.  How long, before a student sues the school for being distressed by such nudity and thus deserving of an A? Meanwhile, lovely former porn star Jenna Jameson had a rough week, perhaps even a rough year. She went onto Fox News, the arbiters of good taste, morals and healthcare needs and had her interview cut short over very bizarre behavior and several minutes of slurred words and rambling pronouncements.  Apparently, she had too much sugar in her diet. Sweet. Let me put back my Twinkies. Meanwhile, in the other extreme of no sex, we have the Japanese. Approximately 60% of men and nearly 50% of women aged 18 to 34 were not in a romantic relationship, and a third of Japanese people under 30 have never dated anyone before. Whoa. To further highlight their problems, there are more adult diapers than baby diapers being sold in stores there. Maybe they need Rihanna to hang out there more. Rihanna was recently in the middle east and decided that she should strike a sexy pose at a mosque. After which she was asked to leave the holy site. There is a time and place for sexiness and that was not it.


6. Odd fights and attackers.  We all know Clowns are scary, creepy and odd. Well, in Mexico they are taking their creepiness to a whole new level. Former leader of Mexico drug cartel killed by a gunman in clown costume. Mexican authorities note that the killer wore a clown costume complete with a wig and a round red nose. We all know it’s the red nose that is troubling. Bullying in school is another set of troubling events these days that seem to be exacerbated by the internet.  But the US does not have this market cornered. Red-haired British kids say they were attacked during ‘Kick a Ginger Day’.  Red hair, red nose, what is going on with the universe?  Many months back we learned about Ariel Castro and how he tortured three women for a decade. Guess what? His neighbor was not any better. Police have now charged a neighbor in the rape and murders of two other women dating to the 1990s.  Can we check the water in this neighborhood?


7. Kevin Swanson.  Going off on a rant on what makes modern day America a cauldron of immoral acts, Mr. Swanson noted on his radio show that Girl Scout cookies lead to lesbianism.  I do think this claim is by all means subject to a retrospective research design.

8. An Albuquerque teacher’s aide.  The last few weeks we have seen stories whereby an autistic individual was treated in not such great ways. Sadly, here is another such story. A teacher’s aide allegedly  taped the mouth of an autistic student because the student was being quite vocal. Shamefully, the poor student couldn’t vocalize the indignity he had underwent.

9. India and China.  The future of the world’s global economy. Two emerging powerhouses. Two wacky places at times. India digs for $50B in treasure after Hindu swami Shobhan Sarkar had a dream in which the spirit of King Rao Ram Baksh Singh told him to find a 1,000-ton treasure hidden under a fort in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh. Happy treasure hunting. Admittedly, this isn’t so much wacky but troubling. The northern Chinese city of Harbin was effectively shut down when it was immersed in a pollution that was as thick as a wall or more.  So thick is the pollution that the city of has seen a 30% increase in respiratory hospital admissions. Yikes. Here’s hoping that they clear the air.

10. Politicians’ families. Ruben Guerrero thought he would create his own “Breaking Bad” world out in California. Mr. Guerrero is the husband of Montebello Mayor Christina Cortez and was arrested this past week for allegedly selling methamphetamine and narcotics near a school.  He may have even used his 89 year-old grandmother’s house in this endeavor.  Sheez.  Rand Paul has been in the news a lot lately during the shutdown discussions. Rand Paul’s son was cited for underage drinking this past week, specifically, his 20-year-old son was cited with alcohol possession by a minor at a Kentucky racetrack. Can you blame him? It is the land of bourbon after all. How could he abstain with such temptation lying around within easy reach?



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