Some wacky life-lessons for all ages from this past week’s weird news

Being on the road three weeks straight meant that I could not keep up with my weekly wacky news column.  However, the world didn’t bother to pause in its wacky tracks.  We now have CNN news anchor Dom Lemon doing a nightly ode to conspiracy theories in regards the missing Malaysian flight 370.  One can write page upon page of all the wacked out theories surrounding this grand mystery.  I will leave that for another day.  Below are some odd news stories from the few weeks where there are some golden nuggets of lessons to be learned. What those lessons are can be open for interpretation.

House Parties. Kids these days! Whoops, I mean adults these days. A New Yorker rented out his apartment through the AirBNB service thinking he was renting it out to a nice family. Instead he came home to find an orgy going on and he was soon out of an apartment.   Lesson learned here? If you can’t trust random strangers you meet on the internet with your personal home, who can you trust? Sheez!  Remember that kids!

Ipad Walking.  Mr. Aaron Wayne Stillday is very likely to be a target in the prison system. Why is that? He beat up an eight year old boy out on the streets over an Ipad that the kid was carrying. He not only beat the kid up but ending up breaking the Ipad. Luckily for the boy the local Apple store heard of this and sent him a new Ipad.  What’s the lesson learned here?  There are cameras everywhere in the streets and thus you should be careful what you do.  Furthermore, Apple stores can have a heart.  Oh, yes, also, don’t walk with your Ipad over your eyes so that you can’t see a mugger headed your way.

Falling-pants fashion doesn’t work for everyone.  Ok. Those low-hanging pants just are not for everyone. Ok! A man in New York decided to rob a store.  That, unfortunately, is not news. As the robber was trying to take money from the register his pants kept falling down. What’s the lesson here? Not everyone, especially robber, can pull off those teenage clothing styles. Give it up.

Earthquakes are not so passé. Earthquakes in California are somewhat ta dime a dozen. I lived through more than 20 while I was there.  Many people become a bit complacent. However, two news anchors on the local news station demonstrated that you are never old to be completely frightened by an earthquake.  The LA morning news anchors Chris Schauble and Megan Henderson were doing their news bit when they clearly felt the studio shake.  They ducked under the desk and Chris Schauble made an “earthquake face” that is just priceless. Hey it’s ok to be afraid and to show fear.

Everyone needs to use the bathroom. Whether you are going on your first date or your 100^th, there are always some tips that can come in handy.   This past Friday, the book “How to Poo on a Date: The Lovers’ Guide to Toilet Etiquette” won first prize at some quirky book competition.  I am sure there are a lot of hard-earned life lessons therein.

The cover up and the flaunting will get you every time.  A teenager (16 years old to be exact) walked into the world trade center that is still under construction. I have past that site hundreds of times day in and day out. I have yet to really get a feel for how it will all really look. Anyway. The teenager snuck in through a hole, climbed about and even took an elevator to the 88^th floor. No one saw him do this. No one caught him. What happened? Duh! He posted the photos on Facebook and the rest is history.  He was arrested and was charged with two counts of trespass.   Seriously? A 16 year old still doesn’t get the problems with posting things on Facebook. Shake my head. The youth of today are the future leaders of tomorrow.  If you do something wrong don’t post it in Facebook and also remember to spring a little money to send “the blue dress” to be dry-cleaned.

Who wants to grow up to be a Colorado governor?  Forget about aspiring to be the US president.   I foresee 1^st graders everywhere writing in their “what I want to be when I grow up” essay that they want to be a governor of Colorado.  Marijuana sales and use, as you know, are legal in the state of Colorado. Now, the Governor’s mansion has a beer tap.   The governor has ready access to a Kegger.  Obama- your turn!

Toe sucking strangers.   When my son sucked his toes, I just died of laughter and videorecorder. I thought it was absolutely adorable and precious. Just thinking about it warms my heart.  When an adult does it in a public store-that is not so cute. At a Walmart in North Carolina a man sucked a woman’s toes and she willingly took off her shoes! He told her that he was a podiatry student and somehow that was enough to persuade her to take off her shoes.   Ok. Remember when as kids we were told to not take candy from strangers? Well, here is another life lesson, don’t take off your shoes for so-called podiatry students.   I suppose life is one long lesson after another. What’s the lesson here?  Never stop learning and never stop adapting those childhood lessons to fit the adult world.

It’s a snake eats crocodile world. Many of us were told growing up that it’s a dog-eat-dog world.  Unfortunately, I thought my mom was saying it’s a doggie meets doggie world. I thought that was pretty cool. Then I grew up and experienced the reality of the dog-eat-dog phrase in the workplace.  Now, there is the snake-eats crocodile world.   A snake fought off a crocodile for five hours, won and ate the crocodile. Life lesson learned here.  There is always someone meaner out there. Stop the bullying before you get yours.

I remember when I turned 25; I was bewildered by how time had gone by so quickly.  This past week, I felt even more bewildered. Kevin Bacon was on the Tonight Show dancing to the Footloose soundtrack in observation of the 30-year anniversary of the release of that film. What?   Kevin Bacon is 55 years old. I have now seen one of my idols as a teenager grow older.  That is a very odd feeling to experience.  He still got game and he still has his moves!  Makes me want to dance as we all can note age is just a number. Everybody cut foot loose!

Inspired in part by the Daily Prompt of: young at heart

Other thoughts on aging:

1. Daily Prompt: Young At Heart | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
2. Daily Prompt: Young At Heart | littlegirlstory
3. Aging is Seen Clearest, in the Mirror! | meanderedwanderings
4. Young At Heart Forever? | Awake & Dreaming
5. “Emotionally Subnormal”: Comic Book Culture and its Intended Audience | A Wiser Fella Than Myself Once Said…
6. Young At Heart | Lisa’s Kansa Muse
7. Daily Prompt: Young at heart. | A cup of noodle soup
8. Daily Prompt: Young At Heart | wisskko’s blog
9. Daily Prompt: Young at Hearts- psychology and phylosophy behind getting old | Journeyman