In a move that feels equal parts dystopian and deeply on-brand for 2026, Dating.com has announced it’s hiring its first-ever Chief Breakup Officer. This is a person whose full-time job is to end other people’s relationships for them. I’m sorry, is this not just Human Resources with better […]
Of course it was Florida. An entrepreneurial spirit looked at a Walmart parking lot and thought, “You know what this needs? Pineapple garnish and emotional regulation.” And just like that an emotional support tiki bar was born. For three glorious hours. Three hours of questionable zoning decisions and […]
There are bad decisions and then there are parade-level, caught-on-camera, what exactly did you think was going to happen here decisions. A woman, now former executive at JPMorgan Chase, attends a parade, presumably to celebrate, soak in joy, maybe grab a T-shirt cannon freebie like a normal person. […]
Apparently, we’re speaking about 300 fewer words a day than we used to. Three hundred. That’s not just a statistic. That’s a slow, collective quieting.And honestly? I believe it. Because somewhere between “call me when you get there” and “k,” we decided full sentences were optional. We don’t […]
Of course this exists. Somewhere along the timeline where we started tracking our steps, optimizing our sleep, and assigning moral value to hydration, it was only a matter of time before happy hour got clinically evaluated. Enter: the “barmacy.” Because why just decompress with friends when you can […]
So apparently, the internet has decided that not only do parallel universes exist (fine, physics, do your thing), but there’s also another version of me out there controlling me. Like I’m some kind of emotional marionette. Or worse, a cosmic voodoo doll. Somewhere, allegedly, Alternate Me is sitting […]
In a brief and deeply questionable moment of maternal devotion (read: mania), I signed up for an online “marketplace” while searching for grain-free pizza for my son. Marketplace is doing a lot of work here. It’s a supermarket. Let’s not get fancy. Within approximately four minutes, I realized […]
New York is on fire. Not the chaotic, sirens-in-the-distance kind. But the electric, collective heartbeat of a city that has waited. And waited. And waited. And now? The Knicks are champions. This wasn’t a story of dominance. It was a story of claw-backs. Of almosts. Of “are we […]
There is something deliciously cinematic about a 21-year-old university student casually stepping in to play piano for La La Land in Concert when the scheduled pianist falls ill. I mean, of course it happened during La La Land. Of course. Life sometimes has the subtlety of a Broadway […]
There’s a particular kind of human arrogance that assumes insight belongs exclusively to us; along with taxes, existential dread, and the ability to overanalyze text messages. For a long time, scientists mostly agreed. Sure, animals could learn. They could try things, fail, try again. Trial and error. The […]
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