I don’t know why, but it does bother me

A few months ago I wrote a note to myself. I do this all the time, actually. I write snippets and expect my future self to remember what I was thinking when I wrote those words. I would be a bad science fiction character trying to send out a warning to past or future me. Look at how much I digress here. Well, in all fairness to myself, I can digress here. I can get straight to the point. Brutally so at times. So, I have been told.

I wonder, however, if these notes to myself are purposefully vague so I can either enhance my memory skills, become more creative in storytelling, or allow my narratives to hold multiple meanings. I am a psychologist afterall and don’t necessarily adhere to a black and white framing. Regardless of why I write these notes, I do and I often find them months after.

A few months ago, I wrote a note to myself stating “I don’t know why, but it does bother me”. Sometimes you don’t know your own motivation for doing or not doing something. It may not be obvious. There are times when you feel a tingle in your gut and you just have to listen to it. There are times when I just want to say no but don’t have a concrete reason why. I just know that “no” is the right call.

There are also times when, even with no obvious reason, something does bother me. I’ve been feeling that a lot lately. There have been instances when things just don’t pass the smell test. And, more often than not I’m right. If it bothers me, I have to listen to myself. I’m smart, savvy, and superstitious. I need to make sure I bother myself about what bothers me. Gut check.

13 replies »

  1. Gavin deBecker wrote a book called “The Gift of Fear” in which he says people need to listen to their gut instincts more as a matter of personal safety.

    “Gut level instinct” is often a state where our mind has reached a conclusion based on data we aren’t consciously aware of. It’s really difficult to explain why we got to our conclusion.

    OTOH, it can be an excuse to run with our biases without any self examination. If one cares about such things it creates a quandary.


      • I am probably doing better than most. The hermit instinct is strong on this one.

        Thing that I have a real interest in are canceled. My never seen sister won’t be coming to visit. Won’t be visiting my daughter and sis-in-law in May. Acting class is shut down. Nature center where I’m a docent is closed. College is closed, so my part time job modeling there is gone. No subbing in primary schools, either

        A few degrees warmer would be nice. So would some sunshine. The dreary weather invokes cabin fever. I miss long hikes.

        I am surviving financially. Wife is still a part time RN. Daughter is a brand new EMT, so she will be busy. Son is working for the census, so he is ok.

        I’ll get by. Even if I do pack on weight.


      • SMiles.. Kind of You to ask PM.. only a Handful of Corona Cases Here still..
        And Not Having to Work
        Surely A Blessing Now
        Ability to
        Hit From
        Extrovert to
        Introvert even
        Dancing Solo in
        A Crowd Valuable
        Skill Earned Now…
        Stay Strong..
        I know You Are…
        And Do Stay Safe..:)


  2. gut checks are good….had one with all the news lately and I think I even used that exact term in my last write up today. Your really a great writer….always intuitive


  3. Intuition, a treasure and an underrated tool!

    Many people ignores the power of this Complex-but-Complete feeling. Material world often try to lure the eye, but a good gut check takes us to a safe spot.

    Good content in this post!
    Keep it up.

    By the way, thanks for visiting my blog.

    Please, stay safe.


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