I don’t even know where to begin. The last 24 hour setting extremely stressful and anxiety inducing. At 6:00 a.m. two days ago, I received a text message from my sister noting that she was scared. She was very scared. Then, I didn’t hear from her at all for another 24 hours.
She was caught in the eye of the storm. Rather, more specifically, she was caught being on the North East side of the eye wall. Anyone who knows about hurricanes, knows that’s not a good side to be on. She was facing hurricane Maria head on in Puerto Rico.
I watched the cable news coverage and couldn’t help but let my mind go dark. The island was dark. Completely dark without power. And thus my mind was uneasy. I had to go through a whole day of work wondering if my sister and my nieces were ok. Everytime my phone dinged I looked at it with great anticipation to only be disappointed. No messages came through from my sister. It was all work-related messages coming through and I had to keep my head in the game. I had to be present and focused at work despite my inner turmoil.
At home I couldn’t let my son see all my anxiety. He knew the hurricane hit. However, I tried to be a little calm around him. Then, I also have my beautiful, gentle new dog. I know that he must have gone through much in the shelter and thus I don’t want to be anxious around him.
In the middle of the night, my anxieties surfaced. At one point, I woke up to the feel of something brushing past my foot. But there was nothing. It freaked me out. I looked out my window and caught a view of the moon. I hoped my sister was catching a similar soothing view.
After I woke up and went to work, I became obsessed on finding information and was struck by how many people were in as much in the dark as I was. I searched and joined online groups to get more information. Then I just started focusing on doing data pulls for work. Numbers kept my mind busy.
Then I got a phone call from an unknown number. Then I heard my sister’s voice. Then I felt peace. They were ok. There was no power. No water. A neighboring house had flown away. The story she told me was plain-old scary. But they were ok.
I made it past my 24 hours of anxiety. But I know this nightmare will go one for millions more. I hope others find a sense of peace as well.