mental health

She was dying to feel something real

She put her hands together. She had not prayed in ages. Perhaps the last time she prayed was when she last needed something really badly. Wasn’t that always the case?  She didn’t know who she was praying to. She just knew she needed divine intervention.

She could not see past tomorrow. Everything depended on tomorrow. Logically she knew that there was more thereafter. But her heart just could not get past what felt like a do or die situation. Why couldn’t her brain and her heart connect? Why?  She wondered if a drink would help ease the pain. She knew that it wouldn’t. It would help calm the jitters but would probably barely do that. Her jitters were far too strong to be calmed by medicinal means.  She needed divine intervention.

She put her hands together. She begged and scratched at her forehead. She put her hands together.  It felt fake. It felt like she was on stage pretending, acting as if she were praying. She was dying to feel something real.

She looked up and to the side. She noticed a power outlet that she had not known existed. This may seem weird, but she took that power outlet as a sign.  It wasn’t there before. At least it didn’t exist before in her eyes. She had needed one and now there was one. A power outlet. Who knew it could provide a second of calm? That one second was to be cherished. It could be that one moment which saves her heart from exploding. A power outlet meant either she was to get what she needed or that she was to get what she needed. It all depended on who was defining the need.

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