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This week I achieved a sense of serenity dosed with a cold splash of water, a pointed epidural and some Propofol

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This week I achieved a sense of serenity dosed with a cold splash of water

This past week was one of the hardest I have had to endure mentally, physically and spiritually.  However, it was the week where I finally enacted my 2014 new year’s resolution.  Despite the pain of this past year, I finally achieved what I had set out to do.  It was not easy though. Here I go.

 

I started off the week with a flare-up of radiating arm-pain to the point where two of my fingers could not move. I ended up this past Monday at the local hospital’s emergency room where I had to undergo an MRI. I panicked and could not get into the machine. They had to order me some Xanax. Even after 30 minutes, I was not fully calm but I pushed though. I psyched myself into getting into that cylinder.  I made myself count to 2000 and I imagined serene landscapes to from Hawaii to Australia to make me forget that I was in a tight enclosed space with loud banging noises jolting me out of any peaceful reverie.

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I then gave a presentation at the United Nations where I had to cut my 8-minute talk down to 3 minutes in an instant. No problem, I thrive under that pressure.   I did well and was noted for being a very passionate speaker.  That I was ! For I was advocating on behalf of those stigmatized by illness.   I felt good thereafter until some crazy colleagues had to go act like debbie downers. There is no pleasing some people.  Some people are just always going to be jagged edges rising out of what was beautiful.

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Sadly, right after the presentation, I went to a pain management center where they knocked me out with some Propofol and gave my spine an epidural. I traded my arm pain for neck pain. Fabulous!  However, eventually, the arm pain did go away. I had 8 hours of pure freedom from pain. Nothing beats that momentary acknowledgement that you are pain-free. My head was getting clearer.  As soon as I woke up from the Propofol , I announced to the nurse that I was going to tweet to the world my manifesto. She advised me to wait until I wasn’t so loopy (my phrasing).  I as totally prepared to go stand on a rock in the middle of the Pacific and just shout out my thoughts to any passing wildlife.

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I then got read some ostensibly-bad work news which did not affect me that way it would have in the past.   I was now free and clear. I has reached a sense of serenity. The path to serenity had been littered with loud ego death matches, bad intentions from some not-so-very-nice people, and acute physical pain.   But I made it and I did it. I changed the course of my future this past week  and I will take the world by storm and will eventually tweet that 140-character  manifesto.

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16 replies »

    • Thanks so much for the reblog and being my far flung cousin. I have a very tiny family so i look for family members everywhere 🙂 I knwo you too have been experiencing and debating many life questions this year. I wish you you the best in this coming year.

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  1. I had severe arm and neck pain that culminated with a spinal fusion on c6-c7. I remember that pain and it was debilitating! I had to endure several spinal injections before the insurance companies would approve the surgery, which I had in 2011. Will you be posting the manifesto here as well?

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    • Oh my. we have similar issues. I have a bulge at C4-C5 and a bulge at C5-C6. Why is this so common? I think we are all working too hard. Did the surgery work? I have to get one more MRI done. ugh. Yes, I will at some point post that manifesto. lol

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      • It did work. I have some permanent nerve damage which caused my left thumb and index finger to be numb. It was hard to re-learn how to play guitar, but other than that, it’s been great. I had to do one more test after my MRI. It was called a myelogram. They did that a week before the surgery. After the surgery, the only discomfort that I had was from the surgery and not from the ruptured disc. I was back to work in 2 weeks.

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  2. Wow, Mimi. So sorry about your neck problem! I have bulging discs all up and down my spine. At this point in time, I suppose much of it is aging – arthritis. However, when I was only just past 20, I fell in a sitting position on an outdoor ice rink. That really was the beginning of my back problems. Chiropractic adjustments have helped. If it weren’t for that, I’d probably be a crippled woman by now. My hope for you is that you will somehow find relief from your neck problem. 🙂

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      • Absolutely! Try chiro again. Many years ago, one of my doctors gave me muscle relaxer meds. They were totally ineffective. I was a victim of the AMA’s blasting of chiropractors as fakes, shamans and medicinal oils salesmen, as in the Old West. A particularly bad spasm attacked my back during a work day, and I received a recommendation from a fellow worker to see the miraculous chiropractor that helped his father. That started my rest of my life partnership with those wonderful “miracle workers.”

        Wishing you and yours again, a beautiful Christmas and so important, a healthy as well as a happy New Year, Mimi!

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  3. Tried reading this post this morning but I couldn’t. Think my internet at home had just woken up as well.
    Anyways, sorry to hear about your arm, neck problem. I hope you feel better after a mega dose of painkillers! Yeouch!

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