What do to with gifts from someone you no longer like?
I am in the midst of my big move cross country. One more day till i hit the road. I have my home office to pack up and a lot of knick knacks. Although, I am getting quite good at throwing things out. However, I still can not bring myself to how out my son’s baby clothes and I have three boxes thus far. I keep thinking he can use them for his children when he finally has them. or I can use them when I need a pick-me-up. looking at those clothes swell up my heart in a good, nostalgic way.
Nostalgia can be so soothing. yet, I came across a few items that have me wincing and wondering whether I should toss them in the garbage for symbolism’s sake, give away to a thrift store for goodwill, keep and remember the good times or keep and just let it all go.
I came across a candle lighthouse. Seems innocuous enough. I love lighthouses. I am mesmerized by them. I love being enveloped in them. I love climbing to the top and looking far, far away. Several people know of my love of lighthouses. This candle lighthouse was a gift. A purposeful gift that showcased the gift-giver’s knowledge and esteem of me. A purposeful display of supposed care and thought.
I have never lit the candle but I did put it on display on my kitchen window sill next to my Puerto Rican homage candle. I have not paid it much heed since I placed it on my window sill. I just picked it up and wondered what i should do with it? What should I do with the other items I received from that same gift-giver? There are jewelry pieces, a jewelry box and assorted random bits. I will admittedly keep the jewelry without any flinching on my part. Jewelry is not personal. Or at least it is not to me. Well, rather not those pieces. They were earrings that have no meaning to me. The candle, on the other hand, was supposed to mean more and thus proves to be more problematic.
But it is only a candle after all. Easy to toss. It was supposed to be a sign of friendship, partnership and understanding. Yet, we are no longer friends and there is a bitter taste about it. Thus, the candle is bitter-laced. a possibly ten dollar candle has taken on so much more worth. Part of me thinks I should just light it and let it burn. Let it burn-burn-burn-burn and then it is done. Or perhaps I should light some sage afterwards and do what Puerto Ricans call a limpieza (a cleaning). A limpieza of the space, spirit and soul. I will light it up and move on and forget the gift forever more.