Longing for my little boy blue

I miss my son. I miss him physically as I sit here in San Francisco and he is in New York.  I miss his little big feet. I miss hearing all his crazy silly stories. I miss seeing him at night when he looks like a little angel and I have to hold myself back from squeezing him.

I also miss him being a baby. I miss wrapping him up in a swaddle that I was too uncoordinated to ever master. I miss changing his diaper while he wiggled to Cold Play’s “When I ruled the world”. Yes, he ruled indeed.

I remember his first birthday so well. I had a presentation to give at a conference in Atlanta. We all flew down. I gave my presentation and we walked Centennial park, toured the Coca Cola factory (yes Italian coke is way bitter) and went to the Georgia Aquarium.

At the aquarium, my then one-year old boy ran wild and in awe. At one point he stood before the large aquarium exhibit.  He stood still and stared. The window was large and the fish were up close. He stood there and was a baby boy enveloped in a  sea of blue.  He was my little boy standing as a small being.

I will never forget that moment where he was the smallest thing on earth but had the biggest hold on my heart.