The New York City primary election is over, although we still have no definitive winner. Everyone knows Deblasio has this, but Thompson is being a stick in the mud. That’s ok, for this is democracy in action. I will tell you what, though. We miss Weiner and his temper tantrums. Where has he been? Jimmy Fallon and Sheryl Crow did a tribute to him, demonstrating how much fun this guy was for us all. Well, with Weiner gone from the spotlight, there are some new creepy clowns and gynecologists in town. Onwards, to this week’s top ten wacky, what were they thinking, people.
1. Creepy Clown guy. Who here likes clowns? They are a bit creepy, on the whole, are they not? I almost had a clown for a brother-in-law a few years back. Luckily, that courtship didn’t work out. Did you know that there is a phobia called Coulrophobia; which is a fear of clown? That phobia exists for a reason. In the town of Northampton, England, there is a guy that is bent on creeping out the whole town dressing up as a clown taking photos of himself everywhere and posting them on Facebook. He goes about knocking on windows and stalking towns folk. Seems to me, someone is in need of some attention, eh? What the hell is this guy thinking?
2. Google owners/employees: It isn’t enough for Google to rule our world by being the grand master of information dissemination and synthesis. Now, Google is going to take on death by creating a new company called Calico (California Life Company)that will take “a long-term view on aging and illness.” It is essentially trying to find a way to beat the aging process. Genetics is all about data, and hey who else has access to all that information? Google and the NSA, for that matter, have tons of data they can tap into. That next term search may just lead to the fountain of youth someday. So, go ahead and keep Google in business by googling up a storm.
3. The unfortunate (fortunate) man that gets drunk on food. Even though this man has a beer belly, he swears he is not a beer guzzler. He even had to run to the emergency room because he was drunk, albeit, through no alcohol ingestion on his part. When a nurse ran a breathalyzer test on him, indeed he had a blood alcohol concentration of 0.37 percent, or almost five times the legal limit for driving in the state. Apparently, this poor man’s stomach was “brewing” booze due to a buildup of Saccharomyces cerevisiae — a common yeast — in his body. Eek. Should I stay away from yogurt?
4. Ndamukong Suh. I have found the last few weeks, that sports starts are some of the wackiest people out there. And, football defensive tackle for the Lions Nadmukong Suh, is certainly no exception when he went on to provide the quote of “I’m that bee going to find that honey hole” for us all to remember him by. He was asked about his recent game against the Arizona Cardinals whereby they seemed to be going after him with a particular systematic strategy. Whereby he answered:
“It’s not going to stop. I look forward to it, look forward to keep making plays down the field. That’s my job and to me it’s just gnats that are in the air that keep going after you and you swat at them and sometimes you hit them, sometimes you don’t, sometimes they just run away, sometimes they come back again. But ultimately, I’m that bee going to find that honey hole, that’s what I go and do.”
Do I even need to say anymore? That sentence is truly a “what was he thinking” statement? If you understand what he meant, perhaps you can translate for him?
5. Mass shooters. This is actually not wacky. It is not funny. A quite serious series of shootings have been occurring across our country. So much so, that people are talking about how we are inured to it and barely register them in our consciousness anymore. At the beginning of the week, we had the navy yard shootings. Apparently the same guys that vetted Snowden, also vetted the navy yard shooter. We definitely needed a better system of clearing people for security purposes. At the end of the week, we had a shooting in a Chicago park, where 13 were injured, including a 3-year old child. These shooters may have belonged to a gang that seems to be fighting it out on the streets of Chicago. So, we have issues of mental health, gang violence, gun access. Where do we go from here. Our lawmakers are planning to shut down the government with their latest wacky shenanigans. Can we do a massive recall of all our elected officials?
6. James Tracy. Here is a tenured professor at Florida Atlantic University that really makes you pause when thinking about our education system. His latest wacky claim is that mass shootings, including the Boston bombing, are often staged to drum up public support for gun control. All I can say to that is, that having worked for the government is the past, I really do not see how people could efficiently coordinate such efforts. Your call.
7. Uber Creepy Uncle Sam Gynecologist. It is no secret that there are many groups out there that want to defund Obamacare. It is expected that there will be mass marketing efforts trying to further sway public opinion. But this one new ad, is a bit on the too creepy side of things. The new ad, by Generation Opportunity, encourages young people to “opt out” of a health law rather than letting “government play doctor” on a woman in stirrups. Ok. It is bad enough that we women have to go through an annual exam where we have to lay there with our feet up on stirrups. But this is the stuff that nightmares are made of. And we thought that movie Dead Ringers was bad. Don’t watch the video if you have your annual exam coming up soon.
8. The townspeople of Potterville, California. Virginia Gurrola, Porterville’s Mayor, was removed from office for LGBT proclamation. When there was a public hearing recently to name June LGBT pride month, the town showed up en masse to blast such a move. And, out of office went several of the key supporters. Where is that town again?
9. The French Senate. The French legislators voted to ban beauty pageants for children under 16, so that kids can focus on their studies. My question is: what about all the honey boo-boos of the world? What happens to them going forward?
10. A nameless, yet angry, wedding officiant. Weddings should be one of the happiest moments of your life. And, nowadays, they are moments to be captured in 1001 photographs to be distributed to countless social media outlets and so-called friends. Apparently, this particular couple’s officiant didn’t get that 21st century memo when he decided to tell the photographers (assuming he was hired by the groom and bride) to leave. The officiant was angry at all the clicking sounds and was quite rattled by the photographers’ movements. Someone needs to tell him, it is what it is.
Another week gone by. Who will make the list next week? Only hoping Weiner comes back into the mix again.