I just won’t watch Titanic, ok?
Ever since February of this past year, I have been watching bad movie upon bad movie. I have been staying up late as I am addicted to corny, cheesy, bad film. However, I have to say I draw the proverbial line at 21 Jumpstreet. I started to watch that and ten minutes into the movie, I asked myself what was I doing? Years ago, I indeed loved the television show. It was filled with angst and a hot, young (still not totally weird) Johnny Depp. This modern day take on that television show is just horrible. How in the world producers released a sequel is beyond me.
Anyway, as I scrolled through my television/cable system that allows me to watch any number of 3,000 movies on demand, I came across several movies that I just will never watch. Despite various individuals and society egging me on to do so, I just will never watch six movies in particular. There are many more, of course, but these five drive me crazy when people mention them to me.
First off, for every workplace I have been at there are individuals that note I should watch The Devil Wears Prada. I am so offended, which is probably the intended effect, when people note that I just have to watch that film. Some have said that I would love it because the protagonist (Meryll Streep) is so fierce and exacting. Hmpf. I just shake my head. Number one, I buy my clothes at the outlets or thrift stores. Although, I admittedly am always fashionable in the workplace. Next, I am not mean-spirited. I actually go out of my way to help employees. So much so, that the joke is that I need a couch in my office so that people can have a place to lay down as they detail their latest travails. Admittedly, I do believe in working hard and dong things right. Shouldn’t that be a standard part of the work ethic? Oh wait, work ethics are out the window these days.
Second, I do not like Celine Dion and I do not want to hear “my heart will go on” ever again. I have never watched the film Titanic and I never will. I know the beginning, middle and ending. Who needs a maudlin film made by an egomaniac? I don’t need my films to resemble my workplace atmospheres. When I tell people that I have never seen this film they just don’t believe me. seriously, why would I lie about something like that.
I believe in the power of women. I am a strong woman. I have yet to watch Thelma and Louise. I hear Brad Pitt was quite hot and young in that movie. As Shania Twain was known to say “So, you are Brad Pitt. That don’t impress me much.” Something about the movie just doesn’t appeal to me. I just don’t see why it is considered to be about female empowerment.
I like Keanu Reeves. Everything I have read about him indicates that he is a very decent guy. I enjoyed Bill and Ted’s Adventure. I love randomly saying “Strange things are afoot at the Circle–K.” Some people get it and others think I am strange and move on to another conversation. I also rather enjoyed the Matrix (the first one). Again, I like asking people which color pill they choose to take. Some people get it and others don’t. With all that said, I have never watched the movie Speed and nor do I plan to ever watch it. Since I have never seen the first one, I have no idea and am quite befuddled at the fact that a sequel was released. How so?
Lastly, I really don’t care for Kevin Kostner. I have never watched the Bodyguard. I have never watched Dances with Wolves. I have, sadly enough, watched Waterworld. That is enough for me. Dances with Wolves just seemed like a gimmick to me. I am Puerto Rican, descendant of taino Indians, I think I get it.
Anyway, there are just some movies that are like your most hated food You just won’t go near them no matter what. And your life is no less empty for it.
Dances with wolves