Flying over to Berlin last week went by in a jiffy. The flight was astoundingly short and I amazingly slept through it. I never sleep through flights. I am known for often being the only person awake on a red eye. Probably the muscle relaxer I was taking had a little bit to do with the fact that I slept on my way to Berlin. I arrived well-rested and ready to hit the winter wonderland streets of Berlin.
Returning to New York was a slightly different story. Instead of the short quick flight, we were on the plane for over eight hours with two very grumpy travelers in front of us. One lady got up in the middle of the flight, opened the overhead compartment, let things fall onto my head and offered no apology. Further, she left the items on the floor of the plane where she had dropped them. So rude! I had to get up and pick up the dropped items and place them in the overhead. She never thanked me. She never apologized to me. She then reclined her seat all the way back knowing full well I was eating.
Meanwhile, the man in front of my son kept his seat back the whole time, even while we were landing. He seemed to not care that should something happen during the landing process, my son would probably hit this head. So rude!
At one point the television consoles on board the plane stopped working. They stopped working for everyone. Yet, a woman two rows up started having a meltdown. She pressed the flight attendant button to let them know that her TV console was out. She then kept hitting the touch screen over and over again.
At one point (only 1 time, as a matter of fact), my son needed to use the restroom. He is just 6 years old. So, while he can use the bathroom on his own, he still has a small bladder. I got up with him and we had to wait a while for the individuals ahead of us to finish using the restrooms. Then a girl with her grandmother come up and try to cut ahead of us in line. She kept saying “excuse, but I have to sue the bathroom.” Now, while I felt for them, I too had a child that needed to use the bathroom. The girl was about the same age or a year older than my son. We had been waiting patiently (although fidgety). Now, why did they think they should go ahead of us? If she had asked and had said she was near bursting, my son already being a gentleman would have probably let her go ahead. However, just assuming that she could cut in front of him was not cool. So rude!
All this made my blood boil. When the television console got back to working, I watched the entire third season (23 episodes) of Big Bang Theory on the flight in the hopes of catching a laugh or two. Sleep never did not come. I eventually ordered a rum cocktail on the flight to try to find a way to ignore the idiots in front of me.
Throughout the flight, I kept wishing that I could just be teleported back to New York. Ever since I was a little child, I have dreamt of teleportation. I was not a huge Star Trek fan, like my mother was. Of course, my mother watched Star Trek for William Shatner. She had the biggest crush on him and on Tom Selleck. I didn’t really are for Magnum PI either; especially as there was no teleportation in that show. In reading up on teleportation, I have found that many have said it would probably not be all that grand as we would probably be in some form of pain as our molecules disintegrated and reformed. Or something to that effect. Admittedly, I don’t understand the physics of teleportation. However, I would take a twinge pf pain over having to sit with idiots on a cramped space for 8 hours. It is not so much that people are idiots. It is that they become rude idiots on a plane. It seems that an “on” button gets switched making some plane travelers as rude and ignorant as can be. It must be some off coping mechanism to deal with the uncertainty of flying. In particular, people probably get a little weirded out when we have flights mysteriously disappearing.
Anyway, I would love teleportation and hope that in my lifetime it will come about. I would sign up for that in a New York second. Now, because as a universe we are not there yet, I would take being Mrs. Guppy.
Who is she, you ask? She was an English medium from the late 1800’s who could “float” about and ostensibly teleport. Many marveled at her particular ability to teleport as she was known for a particularly wide girth. Seems those 1800 people were just as petty as we are about weight. She was a veritable 19th century miracle. I would have given anything on the first day of 2015, to have been Mrs. Guppy for a few minutes in order to escape the crazed 21st century travelers.