On my return flight from Berlin I would have been Mrs. Guppy for a few minutes in order to escape the crazed 21st century travelers.

On my return flight from Berlin I would have been Mrs. Guppy for a few minutes in order to escape the crazed 21st century travelers.


Flying over to Berlin last week went by in a jiffy. The flight was astoundingly short and I amazingly slept through it. I never sleep through flights. I am known for often being the only person awake on a red eye. Probably the muscle relaxer I was taking had a little bit to do with the fact that I slept on my way to Berlin. I arrived well-rested and ready to hit the winter wonderland streets of Berlin.

Returning to New York was a slightly different story. Instead of the short quick flight, we were on the plane for over eight hours with two very grumpy travelers in front of us. One lady got up in the middle of the flight, opened the overhead compartment, let things fall onto my head and offered no apology. Further, she left the items on the floor of the plane where she had dropped them. So rude! I had to get up and pick up the dropped items and place them in the overhead. She never thanked me. She never apologized to me. She then reclined her seat all the way back knowing full well I was eating.

Meanwhile, the man in front of my son kept his seat back the whole time, even while we were landing. He seemed to not care that should something happen during the landing process, my son would probably hit this head. So rude!

At one point the television consoles on board the plane stopped working. They stopped working for everyone. Yet, a woman two rows up started having a meltdown. She pressed the flight attendant button to let them know that her TV console was out. She then kept hitting the touch screen over and over again.

At one point (only 1 time, as a matter of fact), my son needed to use the restroom. He is just 6 years old. So, while he can use the bathroom on his own, he still has a small bladder. I got up with him and we had to wait a while for the individuals ahead of us to finish using the restrooms. Then a girl with her grandmother come up and try to cut ahead of us in line. She kept saying “excuse, but I have to sue the bathroom.” Now, while I felt for them, I too had a child that needed to use the bathroom. The girl was about the same age or a year older than my son. We had been waiting patiently (although fidgety). Now, why did they think they should go ahead of us? If she had asked and had said she was near bursting, my son already being a gentleman would have probably let her go ahead. However, just assuming that she could cut in front of him was not cool. So rude!
All this made my blood boil. When the television console got back to working, I watched the entire third season (23 episodes) of Big Bang Theory on the flight in the hopes of catching a laugh or two. Sleep never did not come. I eventually ordered a rum cocktail on the flight to try to find a way to ignore the idiots in front of me.

Throughout the flight, I kept wishing that I could just be teleported back to New York. Ever since I was a little child, I have dreamt of teleportation. I was not a huge Star Trek fan, like my mother was. Of course, my mother watched Star Trek for William Shatner. She had the biggest crush on him and on Tom Selleck. I didn’t really are for Magnum PI either; especially as there was no teleportation in that show. In reading up on teleportation, I have found that many have said it would probably not be all that grand as we would probably be in some form of pain as our molecules disintegrated and reformed. Or something to that effect. Admittedly, I don’t understand the physics of teleportation. However, I would take a twinge pf pain over having to sit with idiots on a cramped space for 8 hours. It is not so much that people are idiots. It is that they become rude idiots on a plane. It seems that an “on” button gets switched making some plane travelers as rude and ignorant as can be. It must be some off coping mechanism to deal with the uncertainty of flying. In particular, people probably get a little weirded out when we have flights mysteriously disappearing.

Anyway, I would love teleportation and hope that in my lifetime it will come about. I would sign up for that in a New York second. Now, because as a universe we are not there yet, I would take being Mrs. Guppy.
Who is she, you ask? She was an English medium from the late 1800’s who could “float” about and ostensibly teleport. Many marveled at her particular ability to teleport as she was known for a particularly wide girth. Seems those 1800 people were just as petty as we are about weight. She was a veritable 19th century miracle. I would have given anything on the first day of 2015, to have been Mrs. Guppy for a few minutes in order to escape the crazed 21st century travelers.

Categories: Children, Psychology, Travel

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14 replies »

  1. I’ve always thought teleportation would be the bomb. Especially if we can bring a whole giant suitcase, too. As for the people on the plane, perhaps they had a death in the family. Or a diagnosis of cancer. You can never tell what people are going through. Not that that helps one feel better when confronted with a total lack of manners. Such disrespect is very battering to one’s peace of mind. My cousin does a great bit about being on a plane, and having an angry mom with a baby walk up and tell him, “This is how it’s going to be. You’re going to sit in the middle because I have a baby!” And my cousin just deplaned and went home. Life is too short to spend 6 hours in a state of misery and aggravation. Cracks me up every time I imagine him doing that. Anyway, Happy New Year!!


  2. I was talking about Star Trek and the Beam Me Up Scotty just today. So much easier than dealing with traffic jams and lost luggage. But I have this horrible fear that in real life we’d have part of us or the person being teleported in one place and another somewhere else. The mind boggles at what could go wrong!


  3. My aunt has traveled to Berlin a few times for work..Dr Anna Haebich. Don’t know if your paths have crossed. She wrote the history of the Aboriginal Stolen Generation in Australia. You never know who crosses paths at some of these conferences.
    She was traveling from Australia possibly to Berlin and someone opened the overhead locker and something fell on her head I think and she had to see a doctor.
    I would love teleportation. Overseas travel is so expensive from Australia. We have these old style red phone booths which aren’t unlike the Tardis and I’ve often looked at them twice and thought they had potential…either as Superman booths or a Tardis. Who knows? Perhaps a missed opportunity…
    xx Rowena


  4. Speaking of teleportation, Mimi. There were many times, crossing the Atlantic and the Pacific, when, if I knew about it and thought about it, I would have wished for it. One particular time, I remember how I could have used it to best advantage.

    My husband Bob always liked to be next to the window, probably because he was a heavy person, and could lean against it. I of course, was next to him and the seat next to me (the aisle seat) was vacant. The whole plane was filled and we were very close to getting onto the tarmac. I was looking forward to having a little more room next to me. Just before the attendant closed the door, someone came rushing in. He was a young man, and was extremely heavy. I knew he was going to sit next to me. And he did. The whole trip across the pond, I had to lean in towards Bob, and spent the whole 12 hour trip bent over to the side. It was the worst ever. I thought I would be a cripple. Again, speaking of teleportation! One never knows who is going to sit next to you or in front of you. The luck of the draw.


  5. Sorry to hear that’s how your trip ended. How badly people can act boggles my mind, although it really shouldn’t anymore, especially on planes. Along with a teleporter, one of Capt. Kirk’s phasers would come in handy in such a situation. 😉


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