Have you recently uttered the phrase “Well, I didn’t have that on my bingo card.” Same. When I was a kid, I had this wheel bingo game I used to play with my mom. You’d spin the wheel, a number would land, and we’d mark our cards with […]
I caught yet another documentary the other night. It wasn’t planned. These things never are. You start folding laundry, or answering emails, or trying to quiet your brain, and suddenly you’re forty minutes into something that changes the temperature of the room. This one did. It was Kidnapped: […]
I’ve been on a documentary kick lately. You know the phase. You convince yourself you’re being educational, cultured, and deeply thoughtful, when really you’re just binge-watching other people’s lives while eating snacks. So naturally, I tried the Victoria Beckham three-part series on Netflix. And listen. I wanted to […]
Where can you reduce clutter in your life? This grand January snowstorm came in hot. Well. Cold. But you know what I mean. It was nonstop. Relentless. The kind of snow that doesn’t gently fall. It commits. It stacks itself. It blocks your car. It cancels your plans […]
What is your favorite animal? Sharks. Those glamorous, fin-flipping divas of the deep. The rulers of the ocean. The creatures who make every beachgoer reconsider their life choices at the mere sight of a dorsal fin. And what’s their secret weapon? Teeth. Lots of teeth. Teeth that grow […]
Somewhere between Instagram’s new polish button and the Kardashians walking into a bar pretending to sip a pint like they’ve done it every Tuesday since 1997, humanity has entered its most absurd era: the Age of Curated Imperfection. Yes, apparently imperfection is now “in.” The smudged eyeliner, the […]
Curt Cignetti walked into the losingest program in college football history. Yes, Indiana University. And he did not whisper. He did not hedge.He did not offer a five-year plan laminated with hope. He said two words that are equal parts audacity and résumé:“Google me.” And then, because the […]
There is something strangely philosophical about waking up at 6 a.m.on a long weekend, brewing coffee that tastes faintly of regret, and deciding, Yes, today is the day I watch a Matt Damon–Ben Affleck movie before sunrise. This is not self-care.This is survival.This is what adulthood has reduced […]
It’s a brand-new year, which means two things: 1. I’m still writing “2025” on every form, and2. I’m staring at my bank statements like a detective in a true-crime documentary, trying to figure out who subscribed me to all these services. Spoiler alert: it was me. Past Me. […]
You know it’s going to be one of those years when even the wildlife seems to have a group chat where they coordinate their plans to move into your property. I swear the animals have discovered Zillow, and I’m 90% sure they’ve been passing around my address with […]
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