Culture

Some people talk to you so that they can talk about you

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I am an extroverted introvert. There is such a thing. Many people do not believe me when I tell them that I am an introvert. They note the fact that I constantly give talks, speeches and my opinion. The latter, quite readily. But I was not always that way. As a kid, I was extremely talkative and often on a stage. Then, I went into a shell. And then, I broke through in a big way. But no matter where I landed on that extroversion/introversion spectrum, I always considered myself introverted. I like my drrams and inner thoughts. They are often more interesting conversationalists than others who happen to be around.

With all that laid out, despite my tendencies towards introversion, I go around talking to everyone. I cannot sit still in my office by myself for too long, as that drives me batty. I seek out others with whom to converse. I like talking to people. I like telling stories. I like learning new tidbits about others. But when I am done with a conversation, I am done. I then go back to my cave. And, then there are times when others readily come into my office. I have an open door policy and despite myself, I smile at people. As such it may seem like I’m welcoming.

In all my random conversations, I have come to realize something that is a bit sad and annoying. Here’s the thing. Sometimes people seek other people out and start up conversations so that they then have information on you. That information then becomes part of the gossip and power bartering system. By talking to you, they hope to get knowledge about you that they can share with others. And, so on and so on. In such a world, one can share untruths or truths one would like for others to know. Or one can just be oneself and let things land where they land. Or one can do all of the above and have fun with all those little conversations.

Categories: Culture, identity, Psychology, workplace

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21 replies »

  1. I could relate to a lot of what you wrote. I am an INFJ (Meyer-Briggs), also also an extrovert, and an introvert. Full of contradictions.
    Do you know your Meyer-Briggs category?
    Thank you for another excellent and informative post.

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  2. In my experience, people’s love of gossip stems from their own insecurities, talking, especially negatively, about others is a way to boost their own self-esteem. Interesting post :O)

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  5. I get this. I learned long ago that everything I say or write can be taken by others to dissect, misconstrue, ridicule, or pass along. Our only choices are to stay silent and share nothing of ourselves out of fear of that possibility, to share only superficial tidbits for the sake of being social, but nothing that can truly be used in our disfavor; or always share our authentic thoughts, feelings, or opinions, regardless of how others may take and use them. I tend to lean toward superficial tidbits, though on the inside, I am bursting to be able to connect with someone on a deep and intimate level. It just seems unwise, and I am all too familiar with the negative consequences.

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