A few years ago, I used to diligently on a weekly basis do a column on what I deemed to be the crazy news of the week. I used to write about “wacky” occurences. I used to cover scientific findings, the latest Kardashian shenanigans, dumb criminals and so forth. I like to read all sorts of news columns while I take my daily bath. Thus, I had a lot of stories to write about. Even so, it was manageable to write such a weekly column. And then, it was no longer manageable. I got super busy. Did I mention that in one year alone, I lived in three cities and had three jobs? Then the world really went insane. Right after all the clown sightings I stopped writing about wacky news stories. I had enough.
Whatever happened to the clowns, by the way? Not only were there creepy clowns running after people in forests, but politics went down a path of extreme vitriol from which it is yet to recover. Weird ooccurences were just part of the norm. I just couldn’t continue. I had my own work-crazy life to deal with as well as the out-of-control real estate scene in Los Angeles.
Despite the fact that the world is still in upheaval and I am still trying to figure out my next steps, I have started being intrigued again by the wacky world out there. Thus, I felt the need to dive back into crazy, stupid, wacky news. But I’m just dipping a toe back in.
- Proof positive there is something wrong with the universe. There has been an increase in the number of exorcisms performed.
- It was only a matter of time. Amazon is looking to acquire Whole Foods and now it is going to start selling its own wine.
- I absolutely hate beer. I barely drank it in college. I used to say just give me a Long Island Iced Tea anyday over beer. Then after college I got into my heritage and started drinking mojitos. I love them in all flavors. Another thing I do like and like a lot is key lime pie. Thus. I am extremely conflicted to hear that there is a key lime beer now. Who am I kidding? I’m still not going to drink beer. But I’m left wondering who is their target audience.
- Now for my pregnant friends out there, I have good news for you. There is a slew of “sea pickles coming ashore“. Yum! Not really. This is quite worrisome and disgusting. What are these sea pickles and what do they want with us? Why is the news media still so obsessed with Trump’s tweets when they should be taking the sea pickle invasion seriously? For shame.
- Speaking of water creatures, some people really love shellfish. Not me. I’m deathly allergic to shellfish. Only lobster I like is that of the B-52s Rock Lobster. Its a lot of fun to dance to. Oh those fun college days. Anyway, I digress. Apparently, there is a person out there who really loves lobster as they stuffed it into their checked luggage. Yuck. Can you imagine being the TSA agent to find a 20 pound lobster in the luggage? That would be a really bad work day for me.
- In terms of wacky news, what I like more than dumb criminal stories are angry clueless fast-food customers. In one instance, a bunch of Taco Bell customers filed formal complaints because the new taco dish (the double Chalupa) they ordered looked nothing like what was advertised. You don’t say? Then in Texas, a woman called 911 to complain about how long it took for her to get her chicken nugget drive-thru order. I suppose she has never ordered a Fat Burger out in California. Now that takes a long time. I suppose fast food just is not that fast anymore or even food, for that matter. But we all know that right?