Ok. I love food. I love all sorts of foods. I like really spicy food. I love salty food. I love sweet foods. I don’t love shellfish but that is mostly because if I were to eat shellfish I would die from anaphylactic shock.  It is thus quite healthy for me to not shellfish. Otherwise, however, I tend to eat most things. Ok, I lied.

Let me tell you what else I don’t like. I cannot stand slimy, smushy, grainy food.  Food tecture is quite important to me. I don’t like beans for that very reason which makes me a very odd Puerto Rican. I used to not like avocados. Which again made me a very odd Puerto Rican. I do like gummy worms, so go figure. I suppose my love of sugar overrode my distate of sliminess.  There is one food that no amount of sugar can sugarcoat for me. That is cottage cheese. I so dislike cottage cheese that I dare to say I am offended by it. Yes, it offends me. There I said it twice.

Cottage cheese is tasteless. Plus, it is slimy. And it looks like vomit. Is that too strong a description? No matter how much fruit you put in it, cottage cheese is just gross. I feel so strongly by this that if others around me eat it, I look away. I know I am not the only one. Yet, for a while way back when, there was a movement to eat more cottage cheese. It was quite a fad. Usually women on their way to aerobics were enjoying a bowlful of cottage cheese.

Cottage cheese has it defenders. They will note that it is a healthy part of a balanced diet, and provides a source of several essential nutrients.  That is if essential nutrients includes what comes up when you gag. That is why it helps you lose weight. How much of that stuff can a person really eat?  Think about it. Cottage cheese is a cheddar reject.  There have been those that argue that cottage cheese can be turned into a cooler type of cheese if a major company produced some of it. Some in the business industry were wondering if Ciobani could take cottage cheese to the next level. Folks, there is no next level. Just let it go.

I will leave you with this as I get ready for a nice hunk of muenster cheese for breakfast.  A year ago Buzzfeed came up with 30 ways to enjoy cottage cheese.   Actually, let me reword more accurately. The article was about ways to make cottage cheese taste good. Really? If you ahve to try to come up with 30 ways to make something good, should you be trying that hard? I mean, if a friend was in a bad relationship and you came up with a long list of how to actually make it good, wouldn’t you just tell them to move on?

Just saying…